Hollywood Closet No spray paint! Just the other day he was rockin’ a bald wig on the set with Jonathan Rhys Meyers. It looked super real but guess not. Here’s the flying gaygay today at Regis & Kelly showing off the real. And incredibly I can’t see any spray paint. Hair’s a By Lainey • Nov 14, 2008 04:48 am
Hollywood Closet Gay Pilots, Androgens, and JailBait too! Check out John Travolty tryin’ to rock the butch. And look how happy he is to be acting with pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a new movie called From Paris with Love. Xenu’s main ‘mo apparently plays a spy. There are many high end luxe spas in Paris though By Lainey • Nov 10, 2008 06:37 am
Hollywood Closet Mr & Mrs Androgen Tom Cruise and Robo attended a private party last night at the Hermes store in New York similarly dressed, both sexless and devoid of personality. They did however take the opportunity to show off their one tired move: the Presentation. Interesting to note some of the other high profile guests By Lainey • Oct 21, 2008 04:45 am
Break Ups The BoyBand Theory lives on I like Taylor Swift. She has assy hair but she seems sweet. Much sweeter than that massive bitch Carrie Underwood. So I feel badly that young Taylor Swift has had her heart broken and her gay virgin popped all in one shot. Welcome to the club, honey. Us Weekly is By Lainey • Oct 09, 2008 08:10 am
Hollywood Closet Matching…and Presenting! Seriously… Why can’t they just hold hands? Just once? Tom Cruise took his Robo out for dinner last night and as you can see, as usual, he had to present her to the paps, guiding her like a delicate lady child to and from the restaurant. You will note By Lainey • Sep 29, 2008 03:33 am
Hollywood Closet DanRad > Katie? Equus opened on Broadway last night with Daniel Radcliffe receiving rave reviews. Much more enthusiastic than Katie Holmes’s debut a week earlier. Oh but he’s…. so not cute anymore. Photos attached of Dan on stage and at the afterparty with his gross pubey facial hair in an awkward, By Lainey • Sep 26, 2008 03:21 am
Hollywood Closet The Tom Clock It’s like a menstrual cycle the way he operates. Very predictable. As mentioned yesterday, it’s been weeks since Tom’s been sighted. But previews for All My Sons begin today, so of course, of course he picked up Katie after final rehearsal yesterday. With great fanfare. Glum and By Lainey • Sep 18, 2008 02:19 am
Hollywood Closet Vagina Virgins? The Jonas Brothers at the Disney’s City of Hope Benefit Concert at Universal Studios yesterday proudly showing off their much talked about purity rings. Duana and I on Skype just 5 minutes ago… Me: Those Jonas Brothers purity rings – will they stay virgins? Du: What kind of virgins? Like By Lainey • Sep 15, 2008 05:23 am
Famewhores Presenting…in all black! It makes my life: seeing Tom Cruise “present” his Robo. And it’s even more welcome since it’s been so long - months maybe since we’ve seen the Presentation: he holding her hand ceremoniously, a princess introducing his well-trained princess to a hungry public, this time in matching By Lainey • Aug 25, 2008 02:20 am
Hollywood Closet Maverick flies solo For Tom Cruise, if marriage was a strategic move, and you know my thoughts on that, then in hindsight I’m sure we can all agree – a tactical error. Because Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes make each other assy. She looks assy when she’s with him, he looks assy By Lainey • Aug 18, 2008 08:22 am
Hollywood Closet All Smiles! Every day we see her heading to work, Robo puts on a scowl face. But this morning...this morning the sun came out. This morning, the gay who made her life gripped her hand and walked her to work. All is right with Katie’s world. No wonder she’s By Lainey • Aug 15, 2008 04:29 am
Hollywood Closet Robo Married A Dork Look at him. Wearing every colour under the rainbow, no pun intended, and too new jeans….and a jacket that shines? It shines! It shines with a sheen! Have you ever seen anyone as UNcool as Tom Cruise? Why work so hard working out only to wear a purple sweater By Lainey • Aug 12, 2008 02:39 am
Hollywood Closet Katie in the City After being trapped at sea on family holiday with Tom, Katie Holmes has arrived in NYC to throw herself into some serious rehearsal time for her Broadway debut in All My Sons. A supertoned KatE was seen out and about today, clutching a binder, showing off some cut arms, and By Lainey • Jul 31, 2008 07:55 am
Famewhores Little Sci at the parade! Amazing, non? That people are still so naïve about the paps. Katie Holmes can’t sell tickets on Broadway, then new sets of photos of KatE with Little Sci are immediately released last week, culminating in these family shots of the Cruises in Telluride enjoying the Fourth of July parade By Lainey • Jul 07, 2008 02:36 am
Hollywood Closet What Tom Wants to Hear I loved Will Smith. Will Smith was perfect. And then Will Smith drank the Xenu juice. Will Smith hasn’t been the same since. So Will dropped by Ellen’s yesterday to promote Hancock – did you watch? Sigh. Made me sad. Once upon a time, Will Smith wasn’t so… By Lainey • May 27, 2008 04:48 am
Famewhores Kissing Ass Everywhere After fellating the MiniVan Majority on Oprah, Tom Cruise is now focusing his attention on that old bat Barbara Walters who is currently pimping her memoirs in a new book called Audition. He appeared on The View yesterday via video to honour her, describing her as a "leading force By Lainey • May 08, 2008 02:49 am
