Assy Style You Can’t Save Stupid Written by Sarah Lainey and I fight over which media-hungry actress is worth saving from herself. She supports Jessica Simpson, saying that you can’t fix someone who sucks, but I say that you also can’t save stupid. With JSimp, it isn’t that she willfully takes the easy By Lainey • Jul 15, 2010 05:14 am
Parent Pimps 30 > 29 Feng shui speaking, 29 isn’t a great year. I had a terrible 29, and almost all my friends too. For me, in the lunar cycle, at 29 The Ox has to eat some sh-t. And I did. And so did my Porny last year. On her 29th birthday Tony By Lainey • Jul 12, 2010 05:23 am
Hook Ups How Porny is discreet Now we’re in a f-ckin’ hurry. A week ago no one knew about my Porny Simpson and her new boyfriend Eric Johnson. Then TMZ broke it on Monday. By Wednesday Us Weekly had them on the cover. And photos of them in Florida suddenly emerged as he took her By Lainey • Jul 09, 2010 08:54 am
Jessica Simpson Porny’s new cover! My Porny landed the cover of a tabloid and it has nothing to do with high waisted jeans or getting urinated on! I’m so proud. This of course is all about her new boyfriend and former NFL player Eric Johnson. Johnson filed for divorce in January. He met Jessica By Lainey • Jul 08, 2010 06:46 am
Assy Style Porny’s new diet, new boyfriend, same show Jessica Simpson tweeted last week that she was shocking her body with some kind of vegan diet. Then she showed up this weekend in West Virginia at the opening of the Casino Club at the Greenbrier Resort and I don’t see much change. Maybe it’s on the inside. By Lainey • Jul 05, 2010 03:39 am
Assy Style Maybe not in photos? I wonder if these pants look better in person than in photos. The camera widens. It’s horribly inhumane. And unforgiving. And our Porny, she has so little margin for error. I know because I am the same. I have short stubby legs and wide shoulders. So maybe these pants By Lainey • Jun 24, 2010 04:53 am
Jessica Simpson Porny’s jeans & NKOTB My Porny was in New York yesterday with her ma to present her new line Jessica Simpson Jeanswear. She already makes a sh-tload of money from her shoe and accessory line (her shoes are actually not bad at all for the price point), and at recommended retail of just $20-$ By Lainey • Jun 23, 2010 03:27 am
Jessica Simpson Porny in the face Jessica Simpson attended the Gracie Gala last night in Beverly Hills and was honoured with the 2010 Dove Real Beauty Award for her “substance and spirit” as a positive public representative for girls... what? I’ve decided to no longer question this sh-t. Famous people receive awards. Often for no By Lainey • May 26, 2010 03:51 am
Girly Throw Downs Porny’s change pouch Picture a waitress at a restaurant. And you ask for the check. And she reaches into her change apron and pulls it out. And you hand her your bills, and she digs around in there again and gives you some coins, and a fiver. Isn’t this was what my By Lainey • May 25, 2010 03:14 am
Jessica Simpson Celebrate the rare win My Porny showed up at the Operation Smile Gala in New York last night and it was not a disaster, not at all. This is not a dress I’d choose for myself, and the print might not be for everyone, but the fit, it’s a good fit for By Lainey • May 07, 2010 03:45 am
Hook Ups Porny & Renner: late night business They were supposedly hooking up around Oscar time but those rumours were never fully realised. Both my Porny and Jeremy Renner however were at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner last weekend and Us Weekly claims that they exchanged some chemistry. At a hotel. Late at night. Not surprisingly, they describe By Lainey • May 06, 2010 04:51 am
Girly Throw Downs Yellow Porny vs the ex My Porny Simpson attended the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this weekend. I supposed it’s not the worst thing she’s ever put on. But still...with the light bouncing off all that yellow sateen, it’s like a f-cking boob eclipse. And she doesn’t exactly look young and By Lainey • May 03, 2010 07:41 am
Dumbass When Porny talks about her mouth... This sh-t just writes itself. "My lips just slide all over the place....I can't catch up with my mouth. I need a little coating...." And you wonder why I call her Porny. It just comes naturally. And this is also why I used to say By Lainey • Apr 28, 2010 04:53 am
Assy Style Porny’s matchy matchy lace and length NO. It’s ... hideous. My Porny Jessica Simpson is back in New York promoting the final episode of her beauty show. As you can see, Porny wanted to match. Jacket, dress, shoes. And a lace pattern. Sausage lace pattern. That cuts her off at the worst length. F-ck them. They By Lainey • Apr 21, 2010 05:26 am
Assy Style A lift from Porny Written by Jacek Crushing loss for my Canucks last night Gossips. Horrible penalty kill, Luongo took the night off (except he did so while in the crease and not on the bench initially, which never turns out well), and lady luck seems to be sitting comfortably in the laps of By Lainey • Apr 20, 2010 05:40 am
Assy Style Porny and the Arm Pose Jessica Simpson was in New York last night for the Good Housekeeping “Shine On” event with her main gay and her mother, two enablers sending her out unprepared and defenceless onto a red carpet. Again. Look at her. She’s an x-rated disaster. Here is not a girl who is By Lainey • Apr 13, 2010 04:07 am
