Frauds Porny is pretending I am her friend. And friends don’t lie to friends. But Porny, well, I think Porny is lying to me. And I think she’s lying to you too. It’s the new issue of Marie Claire. Here’s what the magazine claims: As Marie Claire's guest By Lainey • Apr 07, 2010 04:15 am
Assy Style Go home and regroup And tell your main ‘mo to grow some style. I’ve no doubt Ken Paves means well but his execution is for sh-t. Did you see Porny on The View yesterday? I couldn’t bear to look, I could only manage two minutes with the sound off. Some people can By Lainey • Mar 16, 2010 04:07 am
Jessica Simpson Tell Porny it’s not her length Jessica Simpson’s show The Price of Beauty premieres tonight. She’s making the morning show rounds for a last promotional push. This red dress, it’s better than last week’s Letterman dress. The sleeves help. And it’s a better neckline. But that f-cking length. When it cuts By Lainey • Mar 15, 2010 06:06 am
Jessica Simpson As predicted... Porny was so cute and casual and pretty yesterday at the airport. Click here for a refresher. However, as I noted at the end of that article: “But watch, tomorrow on the talk shows she’ll be back to what they make her: too old and too tacky. If only By Lainey • Mar 11, 2010 04:17 am
Gorgessity Please, please more casual Porny Look at my Porny! From LA to NYC last night, dressed casually, not styled by the Paves, hair loose and almost natural, you see how pretty she is? And fresh? They make her up and trot her out and she’s easily in her mid 30s when in fact there’ By Lainey • Mar 10, 2010 07:16 am
Faux Gossip No Renner for Porny and a new song There was a story floating around last week originated by People.com that Jeremy Renner was trying to ride up on Jessica Simpson last week at some party. Renner is now denying the report through People’s competition Us Weekly insisting that it never happened. Jessica meanwhile showed up at By Lainey • Mar 09, 2010 08:12 am
Hook Ups Proud of Porny ...and Jeremy Renner? She was on Oprah yesterday promoting her new VH1 show The Price of Beauty. Filmed last year, Jessica Simpson travelled around the world on a beauty journey joined by her best friend CaCee Cobb and her main ‘mo and hair stylist Ken Paves. The purpose, I think, is/was to By Lainey • Mar 04, 2010 04:04 am
Dumbass Porny won’t strip Jessica Simpson is kicking off promotion for her new show Price of Beauty on VH1 premiering in March. Here she is on the cover of the March issue of Allure. Note how lovely she can look with proper styling. Note that with the direction of someone fashionable, Ken Paves is By Lainey • Feb 16, 2010 07:28 am
Douchebags Porny Crack Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who By Lainey • Feb 10, 2010 07:17 am
Faux Gossip No Porny Riggins Easy. Don’t panic. There’s no need to panic. Your emails, your anxiety, I totally get it. But unfortunately there is no reason to be alarmed. I say unfortunately because, unlike most of you, I totally want Jessica and Taylor Kitsch to be f-cking. Alas, they are not. The By Lainey • Feb 04, 2010 08:55 am
Dumbass Porny is gassy No, it’s not mature. No, my photo selection for this post isn’t helping. But this is a f-cking emergency. And we need immediate, drastic action even if it’s a little juvenile. Us Weekly just posted this exclusive: Jessica Simpson FARTS during business meeting Her mom was there By Lainey • Jan 28, 2010 03:44 am
Assy Style Porny diaper jeans Last week it was announced that my Porny would launch her own denim line, Jessica Simpson Jeans, or something. This decision was met with ... mild horror. Porny has a terrible jeans track record. And if her outing this weekend was any indication, well, we’re in for more laughs, and By Lainey • Jan 25, 2010 06:44 am
Assy Style For sale: Porny’s High Waisted Horror? Sweet Jesus, Please Shiloh, no. My Porny has announced that she’s launching her own denim line. When you think Porny + Jeans, what comes to mind? Oh you know exactly what comes to mind. You’re looking at the pictures. It’s the High Waisted Horrors. From the Country Chili By Lainey • Jan 22, 2010 01:08 am
Assy Style Porny Posehard My Porny showed up at the Hollywood premiere of Extraordinary Measures last night. This is a terrible title. But whatever. As you can see, Porny has been working out. Feeling confident about her body, she went with black legging jeans and flirted with her camel toe. She also decided on By Lainey • Jan 20, 2010 04:26 am
Hook Ups Porny & Pumpkin in studio together Oh well now they’re bumpin’ arts. You know this means love. Jessica Simpson has publicly acknowledged her relationship with Billy Corgan. Check it out – two photos posted on her Twitter showing them in studio together taken by a professional photographer. Jess looks totally loved up and blissed out. As By Lainey • Jan 13, 2010 01:58 am
Breasts Porny motorboat I married an immature perv who considers Wedding Crashers and Old School the two finest films ever made. There’s a part in You’ve Got Mail when Tom Hanks tells Meg Ryan that everything in life can be related back to The Godfather, you remember? Well for Jacek, all By Lainey • Jan 11, 2010 07:09 am
