Douchebags Which one is the Fantasy Girl? Porny Simpson, I think. John knew it. He had Shame Face about nailing her but he couldn’t help himself. Say what you will about her but it’s certain: there are many men out there who jerk off to Jessica Simpson. I’ve never met one however who jerks By Lainey • May 20, 2009 05:51 am
Douchebags Punk Ass like Porny? A little, right? I smell some Jessica Simpson on Avril Lavigne…you? Porny would totally wear this tacky ass dress. She’d fill it out better up top but still, there’s an unmistakable trace of hillbilly trailer flavour here that has suddenly splashed itself all over Punk Ass Avril By Lainey • May 11, 2009 06:22 am
Style Porny and the Turkey Leg! My favourite line from the new Jessica Simpson Vanity Fair cover story: “… the sudden weight gain, as evidenced by pictures that turned up in the tabloids earlier this year showing the starlet, onstage, looking less than slender, holding the microphone like a turkey leg, and wearing what were described everywhere By Lainey • May 04, 2009 04:06 am
Hook Ups Eating with douchebag, singing with Shamu X17 claims that Porny Jessica Simpson and John Mayer had lunch earlier this month. It’s been suggested that the meeting was more than friendly. I buy the lunch, I don’t buy the more than friendly. Because I don’t believe John Mayer can get hard for the same By Lainey • Apr 30, 2009 05:18 am
Jock Smut Jessica Simpson emerges cruise-bound She’s maintained a very low profile since completing her country tour. But with the confirmation last week that she’d been dumped by her country label, yet another Fail notch on her Fail Bait, it was time to show face and stick her chin up and out. Never let By Lainey • Apr 13, 2009 03:13 am
Douchebags Weekend, Week Begin John Mayer sent us into the weekend with the sailor shorts and, bless him, he’s now pulling us back out of it by smelling his lime green mankini while performing on his cheesy boat cruise. Are you a comic or a musician? He wants to answer both. Oh he By Lainey • Mar 30, 2009 04:03 am
Girly Throw Downs Lippy & Pippy SNL! Who to start with? LipGloss or Pipsqueak? Let’s go with the junior. He arrived in London today continuing to promote 17 Again in Europe. Bill Hader told ESPN this morning that the final four hosts this season on Saturday Night Live would be Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Justin Timberlake, By Lainey • Mar 26, 2009 06:49 am
Assy Style Porny in a corset Am still snotty and miserable with this cold but seeing Porny put a smile on my face. Isn’t she wonderful? I love her so much. Jessica Simpson on stage at the Florida Strawberry Festival this weekend in Plant City, Florida in her daisy dukes and a long corset holding By Lainey • Mar 09, 2009 03:03 am
Assy Style Still singing, still Porny The other day I reported on information from sources that Jessica Simpson had fired her band and was scrapping the tour. Gossip is a speculative business - every once in a while, there’s a bad tip. I’m sorry about that. But I’m not sorry about the fact By Lainey • Feb 26, 2009 09:22 am
Jock Smut Porny Country Fail Oh Porny. Am told by sources exclusively that Jessica Simpson fired her band last week after suspending the tour. She’s taking a year off. Which essentially means the label doesn’t want her, that country music doesn’t want her, that she needs to find something else to do. By Lainey • Feb 24, 2009 08:25 am
Assy Style Noooooooooooooooo… One step forward, five steps back. Oh Porny. Don’t you have a mirror? On Friday night, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo took her tits out for dinner at the Waverly Inn. She looks like she can barely walk. She looks like she can barely breathe! Apparently the sight of By Lainey • Feb 16, 2009 02:50 am
Jock Smut Porny plays it right So proud of her! She’s just so dumb, it’s extra rewarding when she gets something right. Oh good girl! So Porny performed at Madison Square Garden last night opening for Rascal Flatts. Someone seems to have stepped in because lately, lately the clothing has been accentuating her strong By Lainey • Feb 13, 2009 02:11 am
Dumbass The lies they tell her Jessica Simpson arrived in NYC yesterday in advance of her show at Madison Square Garden where she’s opening for Rascal Flatts. TMZ has just posted this video of Jessica being asked by the paps if she thinks she’ll be well received in New York. Her response: “It’s By Lainey • Feb 12, 2009 07:57 am
Jessica Simpson What’s helping her? Porny appeared on the Early Show this morning to announce the Country Music Award nominees in Nashville. As you can see, it’s her best showing in weeks. Come on now…there’s really not much to hate on here. Maybe the matron hair, maybe. But I find this less By Lainey • Feb 11, 2009 06:28 am
Assy Style Porny & the Dukes! She makes me so happy. No matter what the reason, most of us can agree…Jessica Simpson makes us smile. It doesn’t have to be a “with her” smile. It can be an “at her” smile. Most of the time it’s a “what the f-ck are you doing By Lainey • Feb 10, 2009 04:47 am
Jock Smut What’s wrong Jessie? Let me help! TMZ is reporting that during a performance last night in Grand Rapids, Michigan, our Porny supposedly exhibited signs of emotional distress. According to locals, one of the indications was that she forgot the lyrics to her own song Come On Over. Um… Clearly they don’t know By Lainey • Feb 06, 2009 03:01 am
