Famewhores Mega Preg There was a story last week about how Porny’s dad is still negotiating with a magazine for a half million dollar deal to officially confirm her pregnancy which is why she hasn’t said anything about it yet. Two challenges here: Jessica is apparently quite far along. Jessica is By Lainey • Oct 24, 2011 10:45 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Porny’s having a baby? I have no idea. But In Touch Eye-Roll Weekly is claiming to have the exclusive. They’ve supposedly “confirmed” that Jessica Simpson is pregnant with that freeloader’s baby. Porny’s “kooky” cravings include “nacho chips dipped in chocolate and cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas”. How are those cravings when By Lainey • Sep 27, 2011 05:27 pm
Assy Style Porny’s “professional dancing” Jessica Simpson tweeted this yesterday: There are rumors that I was "drunk swaying" at the Adele concert last night. That wasn't drunk swaying, that was professional dancing! It’s funny, right? It’s actually not a bad joke. The question is - is my Porny clever By Lainey • Aug 17, 2011 04:25 am
Golddiggers Porny listens to someone who can sing Every time someone breaks Adele’s heart she is a mess. Then she writes great songs. And she’s still a mess. But through writing and performing she recovers. Only to repeat the process all over again. But at least there’s some growth out of it. And a gift By Lainey • Aug 16, 2011 05:09 am
Golddiggers Let’s open the week with an As IF It was Porny’s birthday yesterday. She’s 31 now. And she tweeted this photo – a gift from her KFed. He bought her a new bag. What looks like a Birkin. A very large, very orange one. With this caption: Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised By Lainey • Jul 11, 2011 05:05 am
BFFs Porny might find a friend? As you know, I have been praying for a friend for Jessica Simpson for a long time. Jessica's friends don't tell her like it is. That she has dumbass for taste. That she dresses like two wrestling sausages in cling wrap. That she gives herself too By Lainey • Jul 07, 2011 04:45 am
Assy Style A comparison in top heavy denim I don’t think you would argue with me if I said Salma Hayek has big breasts. And the same goes for Jessica Simpson. They’re also both short. But that’s pretty much it re: similarities. Here’s Salma in Venice to attend an art museum opening proving – courageously, By Lainey • Jun 01, 2011 07:41 am
Assy Style But why not Porny? Jessica Simpson lived up to my nickname for her last night at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Style Issue party in LA. Looks like a fluffer was hired to jerk off her hair. And she was honoured with the “Style Icon” award. Sure. In fairness, this isn’t the worst By Lainey • Apr 27, 2011 09:29 am
Assy Style Porny confuses Tongues & Necks There was an article that appeared on People.com late Friday. Porny talked to the magazine about her wedding dress, what she’s looking for, what she has in mind. Oh la. Apparently Porny does NOT want to look “top heavy” (since when???) and as such, is considering something with By Lainey • Apr 18, 2011 02:48 am
Jessica Simpson Porny and the First Lady Jessica Simpson was in Denver last night performing for military families at Coors Field. The First Lady Michelle Obama invited Porny to join the event, one of many that Mrs Obama and Dr Jill Biden are hosting across the country saluting US service personnel. How much do you love that By Lainey • Apr 14, 2011 05:46 am
Assy Style GOOPy & Porny: same trainer, same jeans… Oh but a world of difference. Gwyneth Paltrow arrived at Heathrow today after attending a Balenciaga event over in San Francisco. Anna Wintour was there too and at one point they were sitting next to each other. GOOPy as you know is one of Anna’s favourites, even if she By Lainey • Mar 28, 2011 07:51 am
Jessica Simpson Porny time in Paris Porny and her KFed are in Paris. The photo agency is trying to tell me it’s all romantic and sh-t. Paris is indeed romantic. Paris was probably, so far, the best trip Jacek and I have ever taken. It was London first, then Paris, then the South of France, By Lainey • Mar 09, 2011 09:21 am
Jessica Simpson Porny to judge? Porny was in New York last night with her freeloader and they went to dinner at a vegan restaurant, all part of her “get fit” plan as she’s supposedly working out 4 days a week for 75 minutes each time with the Tracy Anderson Method. Porny however denies that By Lainey • Mar 04, 2011 02:47 am
Fitness Porny's wedding mission Why does Porny hate the gym? Well, I can't say I love the gym. The gym isn't the funnest place ever. For Porny though, the gym sucks extra hard because, essentially, this is a lazy person with a lazy mind. If she had it her way, By Lainey • Feb 23, 2011 04:30 am
Gwyneth Paltrow Can Porny look like GOOPy? Porny’s getting married this year. So she’s trying to lean out, get into her dress. Her last trainer was Harley Pasternak. But Harley’s connected to John Mayer. And besides, Porny wants to look like GOOP. Gwyneth’s body is aspirational? That’s actually a business plan. Gwyneth By Lainey • Feb 18, 2011 05:00 am
Dumbass Rough night, Porners? Porny Jessica Simpson took her freeloader out for dinner last night. They went to Katsuya. Too much sake? He had to hold on to her to make sure she didn’t bail on those heels. But that is a crazy weave, non? And it’s actually not that bad either, By Lainey • Jan 25, 2011 04:00 am
