Sports Porny Country Fail Oh Porny. Am told by sources exclusively that Jessica Simpson fired her band last week after suspending the tour. She’s taking a year off. Which essentially means the label doesn’t want her, that country music doesn’t want her, that she needs to find something else to do. By Lainey • Feb 24, 2009 08:25 am
Sports Stay home or sit DOWN I’m no Ottawa Senators fan but Mike Fisher seems like too sweet a kid to be at this twat’s mercy. Poor thing. She will tear that boy a new asshole before golf season begins. The streaking Sens were in Nashville last night, winning their 5th in a row By Lainey • Feb 17, 2009 04:37 am
Sports Porny plays it right So proud of her! She’s just so dumb, it’s extra rewarding when she gets something right. Oh good girl! So Porny performed at Madison Square Garden last night opening for Rascal Flatts. Someone seems to have stepped in because lately, lately the clothing has been accentuating her strong By Lainey • Feb 13, 2009 02:11 am
Sports What’s wrong Jessie? Let me help! TMZ is reporting that during a performance last night in Grand Rapids, Michigan, our Porny supposedly exhibited signs of emotional distress. According to locals, one of the indications was that she forgot the lyrics to her own song Come On Over. Um… Clearly they don’t know By Lainey • Feb 06, 2009 03:01 am
Sports Help me understand In some circles, this man is known as a heartthrob. A loin wizard. A headboard banger. A quiver master. Him? Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United, seen here yesterday in Cheshire. Like, I get it. Things are different in Euro. More fashion forward and also more open to cheese. I get it. By Lainey • Feb 04, 2009 04:09 am
Douchebags 23 year old smokes weed Nothing newsworthy about that. Except the 23 year old in question is a golden boy who sells cereal. And cars. And baby bottles. And is the poster boy for perfection attached to millions of dollars in endorsements catered to the MiniVan Majority. They don’t mind so much that he By Lainey • Feb 02, 2009 01:15 am
Quiveration Two games, two goals, two teams David Beckham is loving Milan. And right now Milan is loving David Beckham. He scored on the weekend and he scored again yesterday – two goals, two games, and now a controversy mounting… two teams. As you know, Becks is on loan to AC Milan from the LA Galaxy for two By Lainey • Jan 29, 2009 02:06 am
Sports The First Couple of Fail There is no hate-on for Porny. Quite the opposite actually. Over time, my black ass heart has opened for Jessica Simpson out of sheer pity. She doesn’t mean unwell. She’s not poorly intentioned. But she was raised, well, you know, by a dude who freely talks about her By Lainey • Jan 27, 2009 06:45 am
Sports Pretty soon we'll stop caring Am on Oscar press duty at the moment so blogging from blackberry - sorry for rushed text. So last week People reported Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady got engaged. If People says it it has to be true right? Well now she's given an intv in Brasil denying By Lainey • Jan 22, 2009 04:55 am
Sports Mrs Brady-to-be Gisele went home to Brazil the other day, walked the runway at Sao Paolo fashion week. Not exactly tops on Anna Wintour’s radar but G is nothing if not loyal though she’d probably never wear those jeans off the catwalk. The newly engaged Gisele would not comment on By Lainey • Jan 20, 2009 01:56 am
Hook Ups Manslinger back to athletes I tingled to this article earlier about Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez. Ew. Like I said with Madonna, there’s nothing about that whiny bitch that says he must be mounted. Adam Scott on the other hand… Oh la. Manslinger was in Hawaii this weekend as was Scott for the By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 07:27 am
Hook Ups The wedding I would crash Definitely Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. And this time it’s official. Because People says so, which means they’ve totally sanctioned the message. According to the magazine, he proposed on Friday with a diamond solitaire. Her team is supposedly working out a press release sometime this week...? Not really By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 07:00 am
Sports Common-law Cowboy Tony Romo is very, very serious about Jessica Simpson. Because he’s implying that she’s much more than just a girlfriend. The message is that she’s almost a wife. Like a common-law wife, wifely enough to be included in the 2008 Cowboys Family Cookbook presented by “the wives By Lainey • Jan 06, 2009 07:00 am
Sports Are you engaged? Tom Brady went out for groceries today in Pacific Palisades. It was reported over the holidays that he’d proposed to Gisele though the engagement has been quickly denied by his family. Both are so private, and not in a contrived way, they’d probably refuse to confirm it even By Lainey • Jan 05, 2009 11:43 am
Sports Porny consolation She’s actually not porny at all here. What she is is very, very pretty. Always pretty when she’s not tackied up. Jessica accompanied Tony Romo back to Dallas this weekend after celebrating new year’s in Miami, trying to help him forget about his embarrassing three turnovers that By Lainey • Jan 05, 2009 02:29 am
Quiveration No break for Becks He’s training with his winter team AC Milan in Dubai, working his ass off, apparently determined to prove that even though he took off for the money in American, he can still cut it in Europe. Well… The British press, because they love to hate his wife and therefore By Lainey • Jan 02, 2009 03:43 am
