Parent Pimps Worst Grammy Share: Taylor & JailBait Sounds the title for a comic book. LOVE Taylor Swift. She was live at eTalk a few weeks ago and could not have been sweeter. Despite riding a chart high for weeks, killing it in album sales, Taylor has no pretentions. And her mother is not Dina Lohan. I remember By Lainey • Feb 09, 2009 07:44 am
Parent Pimps They don’t read, they can’t write Many of you have emailed for reaction re: this photo of JailBail Miley Cyrus making slanty Asian eyes with her friends. Her birth name was Destiny Hope and she was raised by a hillbilly and pimped out to Hollywood – what did you expect? Ignorant dumbass. While we’re on the By Lainey • Feb 05, 2009 06:22 am
Parent Pimps Double date with dad and God JailBait and her parents on two separate outings this weekend – first out to lunch with her cheese boy Justin Gaston and then again with Justin at church. Totally MiniVan approved! As you can see, Billy Ray Cyrus seems fond of his daughter’s hired accessory, the 20 year old who By Lainey • Jan 05, 2009 02:01 am
Douchebags Low classy Beat-Me Mouth JailBait Miley Cyrus appeared on Ellen this week to promote Bolt and made everyone hate her even more. See clip below. I know. You want to slap her in the beat-me mouth, don’t you? That voice, that cackle – how many cigarettes do you have to mainline to achieve that By Lainey • Nov 19, 2008 08:14 am
Parent Pimps JailBait, Gay Pilots, Soul Patches, and Mr T Last night at the Hollywood premiere of Bolt, going head to head with Twilight at the box office this weekend. Family movies vs Vampires and Bond too. It’s a heavyweight battle. Who wins? I’ll settle for Twilight or Bond > the Gay Pilot and JailBait…you? Here’s By Lainey • Nov 18, 2008 05:18 am
Parent Pimps JailBait CakeFace Miley Cyrus has finally succeeded in looking older than Ali Lohan. Congratulations! Check out JailBait at the CMAs last night if you can find her under that volcano of makeup that’s exploded all over her face. The point of being young and youthful and no wrinkles and NOT EVEN By Lainey • Nov 13, 2008 03:01 am
Hollywood Closet Gay Pilots, Androgens, and JailBait too! Check out John Travolty tryin’ to rock the butch. And look how happy he is to be acting with pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a new movie called From Paris with Love. Xenu’s main ‘mo apparently plays a spy. There are many high end luxe spas in Paris though By Lainey • Nov 10, 2008 06:37 am
Parent Pimps JailBait Ingrate Suppose this shouldn’t be a surprise… after all, Billy Ray Cyrus is a parent pimp, whoring his kid out to Disney to sustain the acid wash lifestyle he’d been accustomed to after his one hit wonder. Why then should he be expected to instill in his child commodity By Lainey • Sep 22, 2008 04:17 am
Miley Cyrus JailBait’s older man Miley and her mouth were spotted yesterday leaving church with the boy presumed to be her new man Justin Gaston. Of course he’s wearing a cross around his neck. And a beater tank. To church! My old school Polish in laws would have something to say about that. These By Lainey • Sep 15, 2008 06:35 am
Parent Pimps Jailbait Cheapass Jailbait Miley Cyrus is turning 16 soon. She will be celebrating at – where else? – Disneyland and she is inviting a “limited number” of her fans to join her. https://www.usmagazine.com/news/miley-cyrus-selling-tickets-to-sweet-sixteen The price? Only $250. Jailbait is becoming a global brand. She has already made a sh* By Lainey • Aug 21, 2008 09:15 am
Miley Cyrus They Learn Early Said it before and I’ll say it again: Girl sh*t is the best sh*t. It really is. But first… Forget Bronte. There has never been an epic love story like this one: "We became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met. He was on a quest By Lainey • Aug 07, 2008 04:44 am
Miley Cyrus The Mouth That Keeps Giving I understand that teens can’t stop taking pictures of themselves but this is beyond beyond. Another series of Miley Cyrus cell phone shots have been leaked, all featuring her beat-me mouth. Apparently 15 year olds think this looks good. Clearly it’s been 2 decades since I was 15. By Lainey • Aug 04, 2008 06:17 am
Miley Cyrus Jailbait is a BITCH! They teach them how to sing and dance, how to pose for paps, how to fashion their young lips into beat-me pouts, and at the end of the day, how to make millions, and millions of dollars. But they don’t teach them grace. Or good manners. Or humility. They By Lainey • Jul 30, 2008 03:58 am
Douchebags The Child Star Standard Love it. Another child star f&ck up, emboldened by an overinflated sense of entitlement and invulnerability so indigenous to that special species of celebrity pushed into showbiz before they can properly conjugate a verb, took the wheel intoxicated this weekend and tried to kill someone. Call it preachy By Lainey • Jul 28, 2008 02:06 am
Parent Pimps Jailbait Bradshaw She’s not quite Emmy Rossum – is it right to hate someone so young? – but she’s almost there… Disney’s most profitable virgin, Miley Cyrus, wants to become her generation’s Carrie Bradshaw, revealing to TV Guide that she’d “love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex By Lainey • Jul 15, 2008 07:51 am
Parent Pimps Jailbait gets hacked Another round of Miley Cyrus “scandal” shots – scandalous for Disney, that is, but totally normal for any sex-obsessed, boy crazed 16 year old. The only difference is that THIS 16 year old has become a brand. A projected billion dollar brand. Once upon a time, teenagers were simply entertainers, which By Lainey • Jul 14, 2008 01:47 am
