Parent Pimps Another Lohan, just a matter of time Everyone is talking about these new photos of Lindsay Lohan’s sister Ali taken on Tuesday in Beverly Hills. Does she look really, really different? Ali is only 17. And, you know, teen faces change all the time. This is why I don’t always think it’s fair when By Lainey • Sep 08, 2011 04:26 am
Parent Pimps Tom Cruise Jr is the only way I just asked Sasha if she thinks Taylor Lautner will ever have another look. You know, other than short hair, a black henley, a bomber, and skinny jeans with combatty boots. Her answer: maybe he can try a necklace one day? It’s a big risk. Like, can you picture By Lainey • Aug 22, 2011 08:47 am
Parent Pimps The Tom Travolta hybrid Isn’t he? If you mashed Tom Cruise and John Travolta together, wouldn’t Taylor Lautner come out the other side? As you know, for a long time now, I’ve been calling him Tom Cruise Jr. But lately he’s added a little Danny Zuko/Tony Manero flavour to By Lainey • Aug 08, 2011 03:13 am
Parent Pimps Maybe you should downsize ...and stop buying shoes Lindsay Lohan went to court today for a progress report on her probation. Supposedly the probation officer has a hard-on to get her thrown back in prison. The probation officer is clearly our friend. The judge was impartial though, not totally siding with the PO but also giving Lohan the By Lainey • Jul 21, 2011 10:31 am
Parent Pimps Sucking in and posing hard Chloe Moretz attended the Veuve Clicquot polo event in England yesterday with her brother, just 14 and already doing it better than Lohan herself. Look at her sucking in at the photo wall. There’s even a little oral fixation thrown in there the way Lindsay Lohan used to do By Lainey • Jul 18, 2011 07:56 am
Parent Pimps 14 in Hollywood Chloe Moretz was born in 1997. 1997!!!! I had, like, a real JOB in 1997! Anyway, Chloe is 14. She showed up at the Saturn Awards this weekend in Burbank, CA and posed with a LOT of Try for someone her age. If you’re a dude, and this is By Lainey • Jun 27, 2011 08:21 am
Parent Pimps Celebrity Malnutrition Well this is clearly a first world problem. Selena Gomez was hospitalised late last week. The widespread joke was that Bieber had gotten her pregnant. She has since recovered and performed yesterday at Santa Monica Mall. When asked about her health, her answer: "I was just very malnourished, so By Lainey • Jun 14, 2011 10:29 am
Parent Pimps Growing up for Shakespeare and career Throughout award season, Hailee Steinfeld was doing a great job dressing her age. Her choices were appropriate, attractive, adorable. Then last night she showed up at the MTV Movies Awards and suddenly there was a new message. On Uma Thurman? Susan Sarandon? Jennifer Aniston? It’s a perfect pantsuit. On By Lainey • Jun 06, 2011 05:39 am
Break Ups Tom Cruise Jr’s parent pimp Taylor Lautner hired a publicist a few months ago called Robin Baum. One of the best. Or at least Baum is used by some of the best. Since this story broke, Baum’s name has been widely attached to Johnny Depp and Daniel Craig as current clients. But consider too By Lainey • Jun 02, 2011 05:42 am
Parent Pimps Swiss Chalet!!! If you live outside Canada, and you’ve never been to Canada, you probably don’t know what the f-ck. But Swiss Chalet is one of our iconic chicken houses. But not fried. And you either LOVE it or you HATE it. Especially the Swiss Chalet dipping sauce. Like, I’ By Lainey • Jun 01, 2011 09:48 am
Parent Pimps Do you know who this is? Just look at the first blonde shots. Don’t cheat. Errrrr… Barely, right? This… Is Abigail Breslin. Little Miss Sunshine. Last night in New York at the Hot Pink Party in support of the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. It was also her birthday yesterday. She’s now 15. Anyway, apparently By Lainey • Apr 15, 2011 07:28 am
Parent Pimps Totally sober Lindsay LOHAN went out last night in New York. She’s in New York supposedly to spend time with family. Clearly spending time with family in her mind involves stumbling around on the ground at 2:30 in the morning outside of a bar. But, but, but, but… Her shoes By Lainey • Mar 31, 2011 04:57 am
Parent Pimps An 8 ball sized Sit DOWN I'm sure you've heard about this dumbassery. That Dina Lohan, mother of all parent pimps, is now saying that going forward, it'll no longer be Lindsay Lohan, it'll just be Lindsay. As in Madonna. As in Prince. As in bitch who the By Lainey • Mar 25, 2011 07:43 am
Douchebags Courtroom Runway Oh look. Everytime the judge calls, it's a fashion show. This is how Lindsay Lohan turned up for court today. If you need to know the blow-by-blow on exactly what happened, check TMZ.com. In short, she bought herself some time to "think" about a plea. By Lainey • Mar 10, 2011 09:42 am
Parent Pimps An Open Letter To Parents With Children Written by Duana Dear Parents, Please deny your children their dreams. The child stars you keep complaining about? The ones who go off the rails? That happens because a parent, with stars in their eyes and dreams of fame and living vicariously, decides it’s all right to let the By Lainey • Feb 18, 2011 02:38 am
Parent Pimps Dumb young celebrities: Justin Bieber edition Best-selling cover of Rolling Stone Magazine? I wonder if it will be. This is Justin Bieber for the March issue, on newsstands Friday. Your teenage daughter wants to kill herself today because the screensaver on his laptop is a photo of him and Selena Gomez. Anyway, for some reason, the By Lainey • Feb 16, 2011 08:08 am
