Parent Pimps It’s not too late for the younger one You’re about to choke. Because this is Ali Lohan with her mother yesterday volunteering at a pre-Thanksgiving luncheon serving over 200 people with disabilities. The Lohans giving back – with cameras in their faces – and Ali Lohan, normally aged 40, actually looking like a teenager. Pause until the room stops By Lainey • Nov 25, 2009 02:23 am
Clown Miley dropped the line Few celebrity offences are more offensive than That Line. You know That Line. When they drop That Line it’s like a spotlight on the soul. Using that line implies conceit, unearned entitlement, arrogance, and disrespect. Users of that line believe they are better than the recipient, that the recipient By Lainey • Nov 24, 2009 02:48 am
Parent Pimps It’s always about Daddy Yesterday Miley Cyrus talked out of her ass about Twilight, said she’s never seen it and never will, flexing like she’s above all hormonal hysteria. Oh reeeee-leeeee? Yesterday I posted that it was not so much opinion as it was resentment and today it becomes even clearer. Thanks By Lainey • Nov 19, 2009 06:56 am
Parent Pimps The Royal Family of JailBait And all those ambitious parents on Toddlers & Tiaras, all of them are taking notes, admiring the latest move by the Cyruses who have written the definitive book on raising JailBait, following up their Miley masterpiece with what could very well be the Mona Lisa of all JailBait... Take a By Lainey • Oct 26, 2009 03:20 am
Parent Pimps Speaking of burnouts… The Chicken Fried Comeback & Milk It is enjoying some down time before her Circus swings Down Under, spotted on Sunday in Mexico with her kids and her man and her dad, fit and tight in a black bikini. Jason Trawick suddenly got a lot more attractive with his shirt By Lainey • Oct 19, 2009 03:01 am
Parent Pimps She sucks but it’s not her fault Of course not. It’s never her fault. Two weeks after everyone else, People.com is finally acknowledging that Lindsay Lohan’s Ungaro debut was the total sh-ts. When asked about her sucky runway styles, Lilo blamed it on “coming in so late and having not that much time to By Lainey • Oct 15, 2009 05:57 am
Girly Throw Downs Daddy doesn’t like the new boy Miley Cyrus abruptly shut down her Twitter this week after posting the following: “FYI Liam doesn’t have a twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason” Liam is the new boyfriend and her co-star in The Last Song and shortly after that tweet, Miley's By Lainey • Oct 09, 2009 10:05 am
Parent Pimps Lilo pill popper It’s always a revelation when her pimp dad starts talking. Either one of her parents, actually. Because they live through her, and they suffer through her, and they famewhore through her. Even when she’s a f-cking mess. And she’s been a f-cking mess for years. So Michael By Lainey • Oct 06, 2009 04:37 am
Parent Pimps JailBait dance moves Miley Cyrus played the Honda Centre in Anaheim last night. Check out the young man grooving behind her. Good wholesome entertainment! The Cyrus Family would probably tell you that God created the crotch grab and that Jesus wanted her to stick her ass right up into it. Hey, when I By Lainey • Sep 24, 2009 07:19 am
Parent Pimps She totally hates them Miley Cyrus was photographed by the paps after lunch with her friend yesterday. Doesn’t she look like she hates the paps so much? They are vile, reprehensible creatures! This, you see, is the message she tried to convey on her Twitter yesterday: Being a paparatzi is the most DISGUISTING By Lainey • Sep 22, 2009 05:16 am
Parent Pimps Dictionary of the Stupid Generation In Jane Bussman’s The Worst Date Ever (which you MUST read if you haven’t already) she calls it The Golden Age of Stupid, a generation of twats and toffs with no discernable personality, skill, or, for that matter, ability to communicate. This is the generation that is currently By Lainey • Sep 18, 2009 03:14 am
Parent Pimps Mentorship By the time Lindsay Lohan was 17, she was living on her own at the Chateau Marmont, hooking up with older men, propositioning other older men, kicking off a crank journey that continues today. Taylor Momsen in 16. She says she feels much older. That she is more mature than By Lainey • Sep 16, 2009 05:24 am
Parent Pimps Brand shame Ran out of time and wasn’t able to address this yesterday, am sure you’ve heard – the Ungaro announcement that Lindsay Lohan has been named the brand’s “artistic adviser”. Based on what? Even Women’s Wear Daily can’t hide its disdain. The news actually leaked a few By Lainey • Sep 10, 2009 02:33 am
Parent Pimps Rocco Dance Party Yesterday his sister had the spotlight, today it’s Rocco. Madonna’s oldest son took the stage last night in Tel Aviv for a little dance party of his own… Cute, non? It was the final show of the Sticky & Sweet Tour. Madonna has been in high spirits all By Lainey • Sep 03, 2009 03:29 am
Parent Pimps Madonna & Lourdes On stage together! Last night, the 2nd last night in Tel Aviv, Lourdes joined her mom on stage for Give It To Me. At the final Sticky & Sweet show this evening, she’s expected to jump up again as she’s been practising the choreography for weeks. Lola has By Lainey • Sep 02, 2009 02:48 am
Parent Pimps Celebration Lourdes The video for Madonna’s new single Celebration has just been released online. The smutty buzz coming out of the clip is the inclusion of Jesus Luz, and the way he and Madge pretend to be lovers as she takes his jacket off and moves in to kiss him. Ugh. By Lainey • Sep 01, 2009 04:53 am
