Parent Pimps All the Chicken Fried BooBoos Gathered in one place. Poolside. Miami. Yesterday. Britney with her sons, sister, and niece at their luxe hotel, enjoying some downtime between shows. It’s easy to forget both girls are still so young. Britney is still only 27. And Jamie Lynn just turned 18 in April. Babies! So many By Lainey • Sep 01, 2009 03:19 am
Clown Lilo & the curious case of the missing jewels Something didn’t smell right, did it? So you know that Lindsay Lohan’s house was burglarised. Apparently the alarm was not tripped and a safe was stolen. Now Radar is reporting that Lilo had $2 million worth of jewels on loan from a store called XIV Karats. She was By Lainey • Aug 28, 2009 03:41 am
Parent Pimps Miley the player Miley Cyrus and those lips were supposedly spotted with her co-star Liam Hemsworth at the airport last week. According to People.com they were kissing and dancing and nauseating everyone around them. Miley however, via her Twitter (of course!), says it’s not true: Dumb blogs. I do not have By Lainey • Aug 26, 2009 05:58 am
Parent Pimps Drama 24/7 It’s like energy. You give it off. You invite. Drama. Lindsay Lohan craves drama. She cannot live without drama. So drama will always find her. So her house was broken into again. Second time in 4 months. Her first phone call? Daddy. You know the father with whom she’ By Lainey • Aug 24, 2009 02:54 pm
Parent Pimps Porny the judge Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Paula set the bar so low. For singing and sanity, she set the bar low enough By Lainey • Aug 17, 2009 04:09 am
Parent Pimps Miley, short shorts, a soul patch, and a pole It’s Miley Cyrus and her mashed up mouth at the Teen Choice Awards last night, all of 16, looking more like 30, and standing next to Fergie, really, it’s like they’re almost the same age. A compliment for Ferg, a shame for Miley's parents. And By Lainey • Aug 10, 2009 02:18 am
Parent Pimps Children and poles That is a pole, isn’t it? And those are children, aren’t they? And the children are being OFFICIALLY photographed, right? With the permission of their parents, non? Just wanted to make sure. Teen Choice Awards are coming up this weekend. Naturally that means children like Noah Cyrus, sister By Lainey • Aug 06, 2009 07:42 am
Parent Pimps School is not for artists…or child stars Taylor Momsen celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday by performing with her band Pretty Reckless in New York. As you can see, she looks 16 the way Miley Cyrus does. And the way Ali Lohan does. In other words, 35 and plucked. Awesome. Taylor is also celebrating her Teen Vogue cover By Lainey • Jul 29, 2009 04:03 am
Parent Pimps JailBait Batgirl? As Gary Oldman revealed at Comic-Con, the brilliant Christopher Nolan will direct a third Batman with Christian Bale as the Dark Knight, and rumour has it Miley Cyrus wants to be Batgirl so badly she dressed in character for an impromptu audition, not unlike that crazy bitch Sean Young back By Lainey • Jul 29, 2009 03:05 am
Parent Pimps SATC 2 – Exclusive Stop reading here if you can’t handle the spoilers. Sex & the City the second movie – a few exclusive plot details. You ready? Ugh. My sources tell me that JailBait Miley Cyrus, as of this week, is confirmed to be on set for one day. Not known yet exactly By Lainey • Jul 24, 2009 06:26 am
Parent Pimps Chicken Fried…free? Perhaps they’ve finally made enough money off of her… TMZ is reporting that Britney’s dad Jamie Spears will seek to end his conservatorship over her in November at the end of her tour. No more daily cheese grits? Apparently Jamie believes that Britney can function on her own By Lainey • Jul 21, 2009 02:54 am
Parent Pimps Old hags at a fashion show Who’s older? It’s hard to say. Dina and Ali Lohan showed up at some fashion show last night in New York looking like two cougar sisters escaped from the small town letting loose in the big city. Ali’s real age, if you can believe it, is actually By Lainey • Jul 16, 2009 02:45 am
Parent Pimps Papa Perv is out of his mind Out of his F-CKING mind. Page Six reports that Joe Simpson is apparently trying to capitalise on the death of Michael Jackson by “pitching a concept album” of MJ songs performed by Ashlee Simpson. Say what pimp? Like, Ashlee Simpson singing Remember the Time all pseudo emo-styles, is that what By Lainey • Jul 10, 2009 02:38 am
Parent Pimps High fashion Miley That punching urge… it will overcome you again. Be warned. Miley Cyrus has “designed” her own line with Max Azria and is launching it at Walmart. She tells Elle Magazine that her intention is to democratise high fashion. Because she loves it so much: “Literally this is going to be By Lainey • Jul 09, 2009 09:01 am
Famewhores Britney & Justin v2.0 They’re manufacturing it already. Something to make you sick courtesy of Disney, the Vagina Virgin Jonas Family, and the people who spawned JailBait. Prepare yourselves… It’s your favourite – Noah Cyrus (you last saw her prancing around in a bathing suit click here for a refresher), age 9, on By Lainey • Jul 02, 2009 11:24 am
Clown Crackhead birthday party She’s turning 23 on July 2nd but you’d think she’d be at least 10 years older, right? Lindsay Lohan celebrated in Vegas over the weekend looking like she’s been opening her legs for crack for the last decade, and perhaps pimp-beaten and left in an alley By Lainey • Jun 29, 2009 03:55 am
