Kevin Federline The Daily Rossum: Junior re-proposes Tori Spelling and KFed Jr are apparently concerned that you and I will forget that they are married…and expecting a baby. Even though there are cameras chronicling every fetal movement, every pre-labour shopping spree, every tasteless purchase at her tasteless estate auction, somehow they’ve found yet another opportunity By Lainey • Dec 28, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline Tori Spelling: Own a Piece of Homewrecking History As we all know, KFed Jr needs to get paid. Because Junior considers himself a victim of false advertising. And can you blame him? He thought he left his wife for an heiress, he thought he’d be living in the lap of luxury, he thought he’d have his By Lainey • Dec 08, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline KFed Jr: putting wife to work Junior didn’t poke out his eyes and swallow his appetite only to be cut out of the will. Junior has expectations, Junior cheated on his wife, left his home, left his children for a good, fair, chunky cut of the Spelling fortune and Candy’s clever, cunning c*ckblock By Lainey • Dec 04, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline The Daily Obvious: KFed Jr. As if threatened by the tragic fate that has befallen the Original Federline, Junior seems hellbent on reminding the world at every photo opportunity that his wife is indeed carrying his seed – more appropriately known as the ticket to his riches, though if her dress is any indication, it doesn’ By Lainey • Nov 22, 2006 07:00 am
Anna Nicole Smith KFed Jr picks up the slack Now that the Original has been cut off, nice to see Junior is holding down the golddiggery. After all, someone has to make a living. As I reported yesterday on eTalk, super exclusive dirt on Tori and KFed Jr: what they’re selling, how they’re selling it, who they’ By Lainey • Nov 16, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline Britney! Victory! See? Last night’s Letterman message was a message indeed! TMZ is reporting that Britney has filed for divorce. The Cheeto Haze has lifted! The Kfed is DONE! Per TMZ she is asking for legal and physical custody of both children AND she is cutting him off financially – denying his By Lainey • Nov 07, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline Tori & KFed Jr: The Indignity of Renting Never mind getting shut out of Hyde. What could possibly be worse in Hollywood than growing up in the Spelling mansion and then having to pay RENT in Brentwood? Such is the fate that has befallen Tori Spelling. More importantly, such is the fate that has befallen KFed Jr. All By Lainey • Nov 03, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline Tori Transformed As we all know, a child"s power is infinite and while I don"t have one myself, nor do I ever intend to, I can certainly appreciate the transformational properties of pregnancy and how it can enhance even the most wretched. Here"s Tori last night By Lainey • Oct 13, 2006 08:00 am
Brad Pitt The Pitts: Philanthropic Fishy-ness New photo of Angelina en route to the set, ridiculously beautiful as usual. But because it’s Angelina…a new scandal has emerged… A new report was released yesterday from Radar Online with alleged information that the Pitts have reneged on a pledge made to a Namibian pre-school originally made By Lainey • Oct 11, 2006 08:00 am
Britney Spears The Charmed Lives of KFed & The Junior The incomparable Thomas Hardy on Jack Durbeyfield from Tess of the D"Urbervilles: "Durbeyfield was what was once called a slack-twisted fellow; he had good strength to work at times; but the times could not be relied on to coincide with the hours of requirement; and, having been By Lainey • Oct 04, 2006 08:00 am
Elton John Hilary Homewrecker on the loose? Well well. Curious state of affairs, non? First the official split from Chad Lowe, then the vicious Vanity Fair article in which she reprehensibly outs his addiction, now word that she"s hooking up with her agent, some dude by the name of John, also in the midst of By Lainey • Aug 31, 2006 08:00 am
Jessica Alba Jessica Alba: a warning from the Goddess Next to the likes of Tori Spelling and Heather Mills, Jessica Alba's sins might be slight. But like all breeds of fungus, this bitch is growing exponentially and the Goddess is watching, waiting, and warning. For a refresher on the Alba antics, enter "Alba" in the By Lainey • Aug 10, 2006 08:00 am
Faith Hill Tori Spelling: no match for mother I know the feeling. My mother shows no mercy at mahjong. During one particular family friendly she fleeced me for a hundred bucks and made me pay for dinner afterwards. She called it "training"…I call it torture, something 32 years with Ah Chicken has not tempered. Needless By Lainey • Aug 09, 2006 08:00 am
Tori Spelling Old Hollywood vs Tori: you"re done bitch! So I was in line at the supermarket the other day, flipping through my bible Us Weekly, when I happened upon their poll section, asking people if they thought Tori had been "cheated" out of her inheritance. A whopping 80% of respondents sided with Aaron Spelling"s By Lainey • Aug 07, 2006 08:00 am
Mel Gibson Tori Spelling: karmic downsizing Karma works in mysterious ways. And karmic payback is meticulously devised. Pedestrian homewreckers like Claire Danes can expect premature beauty evaporation - a tragic fate for a fetching young star. Others have been cursed with - gasp! - a new unremovable layer of fat, forever limiting career opportunities, resulting in By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Hilary Swank The Federlines: pro-love in Vegas Gossips – I fear I’m getting soft on you. I fear my bitch is slowly dying. Because for the life of me, I can’t come up with anything snarky to say about Britney and KFed. Perhaps it’s because it honestly couldn’t get any worse than the Dateline By Lainey • Jul 31, 2006 08:00 am
