Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

You like it?

I don’t like it. Especially since his hair looked so good two weeks ago at CinemaCon - click here for a refresher. Here’s Taylor Kitsch, freshly buzzed, at the LA premiere of Battleship last night. Also attached - Alexander Skarsgard, Liam Neeson, and Brooklyn Decker who is getting completely out-styled by Rihanna every time they step out together.

You know what’s crazy? If I had to choose, I’d see Battleship before Dark Shadows. And this is not new. I said a couple of months ago when the trailer came out that it looked sh-tty to me. It’s not camp if it’s so broad, you know? And as I wrote earlier, Johnny’s been half-assing for a while now. It shows.

At the very least Battleship doesn’t pretend to be any more than a movie for the mindless. Boom explosion. Girls look worried but still cute. Everyone sweats really attractively. Aliens are bad but they can teach us about ourselves. Rental!

Photo credits: ROBYN BECK/Getty

Share this post