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While it gives me great pleasure to trash the indomitable Mrs Moder, I do think that Julia is quite lovely when she’s not baring her horse teeth and honking like a demonised goose. Too bad her personality sucks donkey ass. But I digress. Julia Roberts has great cheekbones. She has amazing skin. Her nose is among my top 5. But when you pull back those luxurious locks, when you lose the frame around the face, there is something decidedly off kilter about those ears. Which is why whoever styled these ads needs to be sacked. Because they have succeeded in making her look like a constipated elf, not exactly the image you want in your head before you drop several grand on a designer handbag and a pair of trousers, no matter how well tailored they are.

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