Well that’s reassuring. Are you comforted by the fact that Prince Andrew is “totally chilled” and “having fun” on the golf course in Spain despite … you know… all that Jeffrey Epstein business? That’s what the Sun is telling us in their latest story about the Queen’s favourite son. He’s with Fergie and their friends at a golf resort looking “relaxed”. Is that ironic? 

Because in that 2011 Vanity Fair profile of Andrew that I reference often, “The Trouble with Andrew”, there’s a quote from someone who knew both Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew well: 

“It was Jeffrey who taught Andrew how to relax.”

Everything comes back to Andrew and Epstein! Except it doesn’t. It keeps coming back to how much we’re supposed to hate Prince Harry and Meghan Markle because they flew private. Even though the Andrew and Epstein story literally has everything. Say it in SNL Stefon’s voice. 

This story has everything:

-a pedophile 
-a madam
-girls who say they were sex slaves
-government corruption
-a beachside lair
-country estates
-New York mansion
-private jets
-mystery death

….and a Prince of England!

Why isn’t this the monoculture? 

I got an email yesterday from someone who was basically all, Lainey, this is old news here in London because it already made headlines years ago. Sure but… the dude just died. And the video of Andrew peeking his head out of Epstein’s New York mansion as girls came and went was just released for the first time this week. Six months from now, the Daily Mail and the Sun will still be jerking off over the fact that Harry and Meghan went on holiday on private planes. 

Maybe the real issue is that a story about a royal putz being associated with perpetrators of all kinds of sexual grossness isn’t a big deal because, well, that’s just what privileged elite assholes do? Like especially over in England with their aristocracy and their history, centuries of perversions, it’s almost normalised now that a noble f-ck would be friends with a wealthy twisted creep. It’s a casual acceptance of How It Is and Who These People Are. Which is disturbing in and of itself, that everyone isn’t apoplectic over this sh-t because, well, when it comes to powerful men and the victimisation of girls, since when have girls ever been afforded the benefit of our outrage?