Tom Brady’s cardboard shield

Maria covered the Tom Brady and Sofia Vergara situationship yesterday and as she noted, I think we can all agree that she’s the x factor, the dominant variable, in this equation. The fact that she might be interested in the dry chicken breast that is Tom Brady makes Tom Brady more interesting, not the other way around. 

Yesterday was Sofia’s birthday so, as usual, the Daily Mail decided to serve up some f-ckery with a gross “exclusive” from a Tom Brady source who says that: 

“[Tom] sees Sofia as beautiful and his type, but he isn't going to start a relationship with her as she is older and stuck in her ways. He knows he could only take her in small doses. Sofia's Colombian heritage is sexy, and hanging out with her and other sexy people on a yacht can be intoxicating, but Tom is not going to bring his work home with him if you catch my drift. If Sofia has any thought that she is going to be in a relationship with Tom, she would be the only one with that thought... nobody should start thinking of celebrity relationship names for them because it is not something that is going to happen.”

One short paragraph, so many -isms: colonialism, racism, sexism, ageism, the Daily Mail is going for a full sweep. Plus bullsh-t because I don’t actually buy that a real source connected to Tom would have been talking to them. 

And not long afterwards, Tom went on the record, with his rep releasing a statement to PEOPLE:

"Tom never said, nor would he ever say, anything like this. It is pure fiction." 

This, by Tom Brady’s standards, is … like… a deeper shade of beige. Still beige, but maybe with a drop of orange in the paint can. As in, a quarter of a vertebra in an otherwise spineless back. Basically a cardboard shield. Because of course someone with a lot more personality would have just screenshotted the Daily Mail’s article and posted it to stories for a proper dragging. Still, we’re talking about a man who is the weakest of sauces. So even just a sprinkle of pepper is noteworthy. Not that the Daily Mail can ever be shamed, but it’s a good reminder that they are trash. 

Meanwhile, Sofia was enjoying her flowers and her cake yesterday in Sardinia. She’s 53 and she is as fine as ever.