There was a time in my life, I would have been around 21, when all I did was listen to ABBA. Like all day every day, until 4am. While I played Minesweeper. It was my only experience with insomnia. And of course it’s because some asshole broke up with me. All this say, I’m not opposed to the idea of this movie. If only because I think they may have missed out on Knowing Me, Knowing You. But I agree here that under no circumstances should Pierce Brosnan be allowed to participate. (Dlisted)

I had a Cabbage Patch doll. My poor dad had to line up for hours to get one for me. And when he brought her home I cried because I got one of the short hair ones. I now regret not appreciating her more. That said, I can’t remember her name. I think maybe Rachel? So my point is that I can understand people getting all worked up about their American Girls. But my second point is that in 20 years, this underwear problem will be nothing. (Jezebel)

Zac Efron is telling a story about Michael Jackson. He does not have a hilarious “I was pranked-called by Michael Jackson” story like Russell Crowe. At least I don’t think he does. I’m not sure though because I couldn’t focus on anything in this video but the height of his hair. It’s exactly matches the size of his forehead. Do you think it was measured this way? (Just Jared)

I love everything about this dress on Kendall Jenner. I love that it took enough from the 80s without compromising the now. I love that it’s a dress that demands a wind machine. I even love the nylon ankle socks. In fact, I don’t think all of it works as well together without the nylon ankle socks. WHYYYYYYY couldn’t it be Jessica Chastain wearing it? (Cele|bitchy)

Speaking of Jessica Chastain, here’s a selection of her looks at Cannes so far. Have I mentioned how much I adore her? Which is why I wish she’d pick some better dresses? They all want to dress Jessica Chastain. But Jessica Chastain’s dresses are, for the most part, so underwhelming. The one will all those tassles become a full skirt? It’s good…except it’s pale violet. Imagine the difference if it came in black. RIGHT!?!? (Go Fug Yourself)

In the last two weeks, I’ve read three different essays about swearing. Three different essays that appreciate the ART of swearing. And introducing new ways to swear. Or unappreciated swears. Like “ripsh-t”. Ripsh-t is an excellent swear. It’s evocative, it contains the hard consonants that make swearing so satisfying, and, well, it’s just fun to say. Please be notice that I will be using ripsh-t as often as possible. (Slate)