What Else?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 24, 2017 20:40:55 May 24, 2017 20:40:55

Duana and I have talked about how Miley Cyrus’s shapeshifting isn’t working for us. It is, however, working for Sasha. But I wonder, to Sasha’s face, whether or not that’s because Liam Hemsworth is her personification of lust. Then Sasha wonders why I never told her that Emile Hirsch has blocked me on Twitter. Which I only found out about recently, and by accident, through Maria. It gives me great joy to know that Emile Hirsch had to look me up on Twitter only to press the “block” button. And all of that came up when we were trying to give advice on this week’s Sasha Answers.

Nicki Minaj might be dating Nas. She’s calling him the King to her Queen. And I can appreciate that we’re all looking for our own romantic kings and queens but I’m not sure about crowning someone your king like five minutes after …well… there’s a crowning joke here somewhere but I’m too stupid to find it. The last time Nicki had a boyfriend, it was Meek Mill. And she went around calling him her “baby daddy”. I’m just saying, her track record for these kinds of declarations isn’t exactly solid. (Dlisted) 

Taylor Swift has supposedly been “insanely private” about her new but maybe not that new boyfriend Joe Alwyn. Of course that’s not how it was with the last boyfriend who quite happily wore an I heart TS tank top while being photographed by a professional photographer who was hired to document #Taymerica 2016. Speaking of… we are 6 weeks away from #Taymerica 2017. Does this new privacy policy apply to #Taymerica? I’m not American but it’s become my favourite gossip holiday. (Just Jared) 

This interview with a Sugar Baby is fascinating – no judgment. She’s made $45K in just five months. And all of it in cash. So yes, I have questions about taxes. And now I’m worried about her and whether or not she and other Sugar Babies will eventually get into trouble with the IRS. But what tripped me up for a minute was that she refers to herself as an “SB”. Which I initially confused with “SP”, what Scientologists call a “Suppressive Person”. Nicole Kidman was allegedly an “SP”, remember? (Refinery29) 

Charlize Theron’s two Cannes dresses. I agree, the first one is superior although I think she might be over-jewelled? As for the second one, with the sheer sleeves, that IS the problem with a sheer sleeve, non? Sheer anything, actually. Because it has to be pulled taut. Otherwise, as soon as you get folds, it ruins the look, it looks sloppy. And sloppy is never a word I want to use to describe Charlize Theron. (Go Fug Yourself) 

Four Hollywood publicists anonymously weigh in on what Taylor Swift should do now that Katy Perry has the microphone and is going full volume on their feud. What’s most interesting about all this advice has nothing to do with Taylor and Katy. It’s the publicist-speak: “4 sentences in a 4 page feature max” and also, “let’s be clear Taylor is MEGA A LIST (Katy is just A List)”. Now imagine them using this kind of language with their actual clients. (Jezebel) 

Yesterday Sarah wrote about the Vanity Fair Star Wars covers and I made a Hamilton reference. Now the cast of Hamilton is singing Happy Birthday to Star Wars. So basically Sarah and Duana had a baby and I was the surgeon who performed artificial insemination. This analogy makes no sense at all but I’m having a C3PO-Aaron Burr moment and had to make it all about ME. (THR)  


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