Are you f-cking Lindsay LOHAN...
Guy Berryman??? Or is she following you around begging you for it?
You just gasped, right?
Here’s the quick background. Last week some dumbass UK tabloid, I think it was The Sun, published a story about LOHAN losing her sh-t because she wasn’t allowed backstage at Coldplay. Gossip Cop shot down that report because, um, they asked LOHAN herself if it was true and, errm, she said it wasn’t. Gossip Cop then went on to say that, according to a “music source”, LOHAN is seeing Guy Berryman, Coldplay bassist, recently divorced. Needless to say, it’s not hard to figure out who this sh-t is coming from.
LOHAN wants everyone to know she’s f-cking Guy Berryman. Given that she’s a chronic liar though, is she really f-cking Guy Berryman, or is she TRYING to f-ck Guy Berryman?
According to Page Six, trying seems more believable. She spent the weekend in Chicago at Lollapalooza “following him around all weekend”. F-cking loser.
She for... obviously. And he for somehow allowing himself to get be associated with her. This is what happens with a LOHAN. One minute you’re walking by her at a party, the next someone is making you shake her hand, and then suddenly, a few days later, Gossip Cop says you’re f-cking her and gossip blogs are calling you a f-cking loser.
Vigilance! The same kind of vigilance that one must observe against Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton must now be applied to Lindsay LOHAN. Otherwise this is what happens. She will turn the most innocuous encounter into a significant connection. And now how will Coldplay be rid of it?
Chris Martin who hates mixing his music with his wife’s notoriety, or anyone else’s notoriety, because he doesn’t share well with others, you think Chris Martin will deal well with LOHAN all over his jock? As the paps conveniently keep turning up wherever they are, screwing up the side game that he plays on his wife, and Twitter pics end up getting posted on her account so she can keep showing off that she’s down with one of the world’s biggest bands, you think Chris will let this slide, no problem, no fuss?
Oh Guy Berryman, you made a very, very big mistake.
Attached - Guy with Coldplay on August 3 in Westwood, CA at a show to benefit the Grammy Foundation.
Photos from John Shearer/Gettyimages.com