Elijah Wood and Nicolas Cage in THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER

March 8, 2016 17:54:28 Posted at March 8, 2016 17:54:28
Sarah Posted by Sarah

Elijah Wood used his Lord of the Rings juice to push through passion projects like the criminally underseen TV show Wilfred, and genre movies like the Maniac remake and Cooties. But apparently he’s grown tired of being a purveyor of fine niche entertainment and has entered the ironic portion of his career because he is willfully choosing to star in movies with Vin Diesel and Nicolas Cage. Following The Last Witch Hunter, Wood can next be seen starring alongside Nicolas Cage in The Trust, a heist caper.

Sadly, it appears to be a regular ole cash heist, and not an elaborate scheme to steal the Constitution or the Gettysburg Address, or to solve a mystery in an old-timey library. Wood and Cage star as Las Vegas cops, I think, who decide to rob a drug dealer, maybe. It’s not entirely clear, but they are definitely robbing someone and THIS MOVIE LOOKS AWESOME. Nicolas Cage is making Nicolas Cage Face, and Elijah Wood is there being all bug-eyed, and this movie looks like it was conceived during a ninety-six hour bender fueled by bath salts and Mountain Dew.

This sh*t looks bonkers, and the only possible way it could get any better is if at some point the heist involves animals. Like if they have a koala co-conspirator give this movie all of the awards for the year. If the koala wears a tiny top hat and monocle, go ahead and give it all of the awards for the next year, too. But that’s the only thing that can possibly improve this movie—animals in tiny top hats. Other than that, it’s PERFECT. The Trust will be screened at SXSW and opens in April in theatres and on demand and I plan to watch it every day for the rest of my life.

PS: Lainey wants you all to know that she is now attracted to Elijah Wood, who may or may not be a magical porcelain doll come to life.

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