Johnny strikes first

May 27, 2016 14:18:41 Posted at May 27, 2016 14:18:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As you know, as soon as it was made public that Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp, just three days after the passing of his mother, TMZ was posting stories about how much his family, and his ma in particular, hated her. Team Depp sources claimed that Amber is just a basic come-up who kept Johnny away from his ma and only wanted his connections to events and studio executives.

Yesterday, a full 24 hours after news broke of their breakup, Johnny’s publicist released an official statement confirming the separation and, more importantly, the undeniable acrimony between him and Amber:

“Given the brevity of this marriage and the most recent and tragic loss of his mother, Johnny will not respond to any of the salacious false stories, gossip, misinformation and lies about his personal life. Hopefully, the dissolution of this short marriage will be resolved quickly.”

Not your standard Hollywood divorce announcement. And definitely not the Conscious Uncoupling kind. This is a bitch ass tone. And it’s specifically bitchy too: “the brevity of this marriage”, “this short marriage”. Doubling down on emphasising that they were only married for a year is about the money. Referring to the marriage as “this marriage” is a f-cking sneer. It’s disdain. It’s meant to convey that the relationship was meaningless. And nothing meaningful can have (dollar) value.

I wonder if Laura Wasser, Johnny’s divorce lawyer, approved the wording. She supposedly tries to avoid this kind of hostility. Although, I guess, you can’t call for peace when the people in the fight are still so bloodthirsty. And, through his publicist, Johnny sounds f-cking pissed.

His publicist, by the way, with whom he was once rumoured to be involved with, is Robin Baum. Robin Baum is one of the most powerful publicists in Hollywood. Her client list is serious – Daniel Craig, Russell Crowe, Benicio Del Toro, James Franco, Chris Hemsworth, Ryan Gosling, Jared Leto. (Random fact: she also has really great taste in shoes.) With the exception of CHemsworth, Robin seems to specialise in moody bastards. Robin and Johnny have worked together for a long, long time. Decades. She knows him well and she’s loyal. So she’s going to protect him however she can, with whatever she can. Amber and her rep then have to bring it if they don’t want to get buried. More on Amber’s strategy in the next post.

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