Leo sues

June 8, 2015 20:16:40 Posted at June 8, 2015 20:16:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Leonardo DiCaprio is suing French magazine Oops! over a story they ran about him getting Rihanna pregnant but that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with the baby. According to TMZ, Leo’s people contacted Oops! to tell them they were full of sh-t, and the French gossips were like, yeah, we know, whatever. So then he filed for damages. French laws are more favourable to celebrities on the privacy issue. But the story never even made it to the English media until he decided to take Oops! to court. And now we’re all talking about his private life. Again. Always. As if anyone actually believed that Rihanna was carrying his baby anyway.

But is this the worst thing that’s been written about him? Hardly. So why make a stink about it now? After all these years. After ALL THESE DECADES?

Maybe Leo’s tired of us messing around in his personal life. Maybe he’s trying to send a message. Or maybe we’ve just found out what he finds most offensive. You can allege that he slept with Miranda Kerr when she was still married to Orlando Bloom. You can allege that he has no interest in speaking to women over 25. You can namecheck him in a story about a model whose husband committed suicide. But where Leo draws the line?

Don’t ever accuse him of knocking up a girl. Please. Like he would ever make such a rookie move and give up his life, and all the models lined up to be test driven, for one person. Don’t you know there are girls graduating high school right now who can be enjoyed in a year or two? 1996 is currently the magic year. But give it six months, and 1997 will technically be safe too.

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