This is why. THIS IS WHY.

March 22, 2016 15:35:30 Posted at March 22, 2016 15:35:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Mimi is touring Europe. Ahead of her tour, she gave an interview to The Sunday Times Style Magazine. When you read it, and I’ll embed the link, you’ll understand why (if for some f-cking reason you don’t actually know already) her upcoming “docu-series” is a NECESSITY. For starters, as the journalist notes, Mimi is running late. It’s around 10pm. And, well, she’s been sleeping.

We know this. We know that our Butterfly does not do the daytime. Even though she’s a mother of two young children, the light hours are to be avoided, mostly. Although she does note that since she is the mother of two young children, sometimes, UGH, she has to get up for them. The sacrifice, you know? The sacrifice of having to carry them around, suffer such a difficult pregnancy, and then raise them in the sun!

Anyway, we also hear for the first time (this time) about her “bleak diet”. You’ll recall, back in December, Mimi was hospitalised for “the flu”, or something. And, even then, I wondered, ahem, whether or not that was a euphemism for “lose 10 lbs quick”. She looks lean right now, doesn’t she? Whatever you have to do to kickstart whatever you need to kickstart. After that it’s the maintenance.

Maintenance is bleak:

Does she have a special diet? An exercise regime? "Yes. My diet is very bleak." Bleak is one of her favourite words. She giggles. "I overuse the word because there is a lot of bleakness going on. My bleak diet is horrendous, but I don't want to tell anyone about it because it's none of their business." She looks tiny. Even her much-photographed breasts are reined in. Whatever it is, I tell her, the bleak diet is working well. She sinks further back into her pillows. "I just don't want people commenting." It seems she is hurt by nasty comments. I saw a photo of her online recently eating ice cream. "Ice cream? Not on the bleak diet," she says. "That must have been very old."

This is what I love about Mimi. For all her Mimi-ness, Mimi has never fronted like it doesn’t hurt. And I don’t mean the pain of abstaining from ice cream but the pain that comes with narcissism. A narcissist cares too much. Because s/he only cares about one person: him/herself. Which is why she and the entourage must guard against the “commenting”. Beyonce would never, ever admit to that. Admit to being insecure…and then follow that admission with a life statement about good lighting:

"I am a pretty insecure person," she says, "but I have to get over that because this is the reality of my life. I look better than I looked a few months ago, but I am definitely not one of those people who says, ˜I look amazing today.' I have to point out this is a rented house — I would never have overhead lighting. High hats, they call them. In my apartment in New York, it's all recessed lighting, chandeliers, candles. This lighting is abusive."

This is where I don’t think our Mimi gets enough credit. She is articulate, non? Bleak, festive, abusive – Mimi knows her words. And while all the non-walking is hilarious, she uses her words to define the rules by which she lives. Example: at one point Mimi is asked about her relationship, her engagement. That ring is hard to ignore. Please consider her response about getting married again after two divorces:

"I am very traditional. I have babies, it's more appropriate. I don't know if most people can relate to that, but that's just how I feel."

It’s more appropriate.

In her mind, a woman with two babies shouldn’t just be “dating”. That would be less appropriate. It’s a very specific way to describe her very specific world view. A mother of two children with a “husband” is more appropriate (translation: classier) than a mother of two children with a “boyfriend”. You hear that Gwyneth Paltrow? These are Mimi’s Rules To Live By. That apparently also includes tip-toe walking. When she does, actually, walk. Click here to read the transcribed article via Jezebel.

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