A Three Whiskered Atonement

January 11, 2008 00:00:00 Posted at January 11, 2008 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We believe in getting our fortunes told. When I was 19, on a lark, I had my palm read by a shady lady who was still studying the art. She sent chills down my spine when all she told me was:

Do more charity work. Do more charity work.

This usually means that the fates are conspiring against you, that you or your family members might die a young death or suffer unspeakable tragedy, and doing charity is a way to beg for mercy. Scared the sh*t out of me. Of course I ran home to my mother who yanked my ear off and berated me for hitting up an unendorsed fortune teller. She told me that some fortune tellers use black magic, that instead of “reading” your life, they can “steal” your life, exchanging a lucky one for their own:

“Trust me. Mommy gave you a good life, even though you’re ungrateful. And don’t let me find out you’re pissing on all my hard work by hanging out with soul snatchers!”

Curiously enough, I did end up falling into social services – Covenant House Vancouver – so thankfully, hopefully, that woman wasn’t so much a soul snatcher but a novice with an inexperienced “eye”.

As for Three Whiskers Orlando Bloom – well you’ll recall he was involved in a nasty car accident a few months ago that left a friend bleeding badly in the backseat. Instead of staying to attend to her, Orly inexplicably tried to flee the scene before being advised by paparazzi that he best turn back and stay put.

Needless to say, such actions could have serious karmic consequences, so it’s nice to see Orly giving back and trying to mollify the gods. Check him out in India on a mission as International Ambassador for UNICEF. Looks like Orly had a wonderful time with the kids on what will undoubtedly be a life changing experience… perhaps in more ways than one.

PS. Why is his hair perfect in every photo???


Previous Article Next Article