Sasha Answers: Celebrities and big shoes

February 16, 2012 19:35:35 Posted at February 16, 2012 19:35:35
Sasha Posted by Sasha
Jason Merritt/Getty

I’ve received a lot of letters asking why some stars on the red carpet are wearing shoes that are too big for them.  Some of you are actually right pissed about it.   So to calm all your nerves I have a couple of theories which I hope will bring peace to the matter.
When celebrity stylists are pulling shoes for their clients they aren’t pulling from the Jimmy Choo or Louboutin retail stores; they head to designer showrooms.  This is where all the sample sizes from the latest collection live and the available sizes are usually 10s, 11s and sometimes 9s.  One of the purposes of the showrooms is to loan things out, you know, for photo shoots and the like, which means they’re fitting giant models with giant feet.   
Now I don’t have any hard stats, but it's safe to say the average shoe size is generally either a 7 or an 8.  That’s why whenever you see a shoe sale rack those sizes are all gone and only the boat size ones are left.     

So hey, guess what?! When it comes to feet…..STARS ARE JUST LIKE US!  
Okay, so here's how I think this goes down:
The stylist picks a few good well sized shoe options and a few kick ass heels that - while too large - perfectly match to the outfit.  Cut to the day of the big event, the celebrity falls in love with said perfect yet GINORMOUS shoe, says f-ck it, jams some insoles in, maybe a lil TP in the toe, and the rest is documented on blog history.  
Hollywood celebrity ranking is what makes these self-entitled assholes, well, exactly that: self entitled assholes. The higher you are on the food chain, the better swag you get.  And stylists are right in there getting the goods for their clients. They've got a roster of clients to dress, and they first cater to the cream of the crop and then slowly move down the list to the curdled ones. So in the same way that Lindsay gets sh-t end of the weave stick at the hair salon, some “stars” don't get the good shoes; instead they get the sloppy seconds, thirds or fourths.   Who falls into this category?  Everyone’s favorite Lea Michele, and other non-Alisters like Hayden Panettiere and such. Make sense now?  It’s the same reason why - again I’ll use Lea Michele here - doesn’t get the jaw dropping dresses come award season.  She gets the second rung sh-t.  Sure they’re nice options, sure they’re expensive and designer, but let’s get real, they're the ones that no one else picked.   You think Marchesa offered up that sh-tty figure skater dress to anyone else but Lea Michele?????  It’s survival of the fittest and hand me downs to the shittiest.

All I’m saying is if Gwyneth or Jennifer Lopez or Angelina Jolie want a pair of limited edition, in some impossible size, made by some magical shoe elf cobbler in some far off pixie dust land, trust me, they’ll get them delivered the same day and for free.

(Lainey: Just wanted to add to this quickly - they are making shoes for TORTURE these days. Take Brian Atwood, for instance. I am an 8 or an 8.5, depending on how much water I’ve had. I buy Atwoods in 9.5 sometimes 10, depending on the style. Because it’s impossible to mash your f-cking toes in there without paralysing yourself. I honestly don’t know how Victoria Beckham does it. I’m surprised she still has nerve endings in her feet.)

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