Four rings on the dance floor
Savannah just sent this over to me and I can’t thank her enough for bringing me so much happiness and cringe at the same time.
The New England Patriots celebrated their Super Bowl last night. There was a party. They all received their rings – the biggest rings ever in the history of Super Bowl rings: 205 diamonds in total, and each player’s number customised.
This, of course, is Tom Brady’s fourth ring. And he wore all four of them all night, even on the dance floor, getting down and sweaty with Robert Kraft, Gronk, and Wiz Khalifa, the MOST RANDOM BOY BAND OF ALL TIME.
Let me just ease you into Brady moves. So that your delightful discomfort can rise steadily. Here’s Brady on the fringe of the dance circle, WHERE HE SHOULD HAVE STAYED, doing the white boy side to side and head bop:
OH. MY. GOD. Wiz Khalifa & Tom Brady watch Gronk break it down on the dance floor. https://t.co/0DpP9l5Bq2— Only In Boston (@OnlyInBOS) June 15, 2015
But then, perhaps empowered by those four rings, he gets more ambitious, edging closer to the centre, and pumping his fists which, though not exactly the coolest sh-t ever, is still within the realm of decency and acceptability:
Tom Brady fist pumping w/4 rings is incredible on so many levels. https://t.co/ETsl10aFqx— Only In Boston (@OnlyInBOS) June 15, 2015
We pause at this point to acknowledge the players teaching their white grandpa how to flex on the ones and twos:
And then, oh God, oh no, Brady’s in the circle, and he’s hopping up and down and throwing his hands…
Does this remind you of someone?
No? Are you sure?
You know what though? I think I’d still take Brady’s spontaneous bump and grind over Leonardo DiCaprio’s Coachella CHOREOGRAPHY: