The Poor Player Perv

June 12, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 12, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So maybe Zach Braff isn’t George Clooney but seriously…does he seriously have to stoop to this? At the very least he’s on a hit tv show. And he wrote and directed an acclaimed first feature. And he won a Grammy for a wicked soundtrack. And he dated Mandy Moore. And everyone knows that in Hollywood the quirky guy always gets the girls…

Which is why it’s so baffling that Zach Braff has to resort to frat loser tactics that might not even fly in a small town Hooters, or even a sleazy bar in Calgary Alberta, let alone on the ladies of New York City.

Zach is spending the summer there, at night he apparently trolls the bar scene with a wingman whose purpose is to “line up some 9s and 10s for us”.

When the 9s and 10s are secured, Zach then proceeds to drop the hotness on his victims with the following classic: You have a nice bottom. Or even better: You have a hot bod. And of course the ultimate: You have nice breasts.

Instant loin quiveration, non?

Needless to say, in spite of the fact that he’s rich and famous, he’s been striking out repeatedly… but Braff’s M.O. has been to achieve a critical mass, thinking that if he targets enough people, among the rejections, there’s bound to be a bullseye. Which is why when he does get snubbed with the first girl in the group, he immediately turns to the 2nd and pulls out one of his charming lines about her tits.

Like…I’m embarrassed for him. I mean really…do they not have a school or something? A school for the famous? Even the nerdy ones? On the art of the Player Pimp?

Dude seriously needs some new moves…

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