Dear Gossips,

It’s about that time for Vanity Fair to release its annual Hollywood Issue. Last year I posted about it on February 3 – click here for a refresher. You’ll note, the article was about the lack of representation on that cover. And it wasn’t the first time Vanity Fair provoked that kind of reaction.

So what happens in 2016? Especially now, as the #OscarsSoWhite conversation continues to be the main event? Magazines require a lot of lead time. So, if Vanity Fair’s Hollywood Issue comes out when it usually comes out, the photo shoot and its subjects would have had to have happened and been chosen before the nominations were announced, before the Academy was criticised. I hope Michael B Jordan made the cut.

Just a quick note before we continue with the 12 Days of Chinese New Year. I received a few messages from Rats after yesterday’s profile asking about why the tone was so muted even though Rats might enjoy good luck during the Year of the Monkey. I used to do this too, getting pissy with my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, about her feng shui advisories. “Ugh, if it’s positive, why do you have to bring it all down?” Ma’s feng shui philosophy, again, is that nobody needs advance notice for good luck. Nobody needs a cheerleader to come along and tell you with pompoms that you’re going to have a solid year. What’s actually useful is to have recommendations about how to protect your good luck, so that it lasts as long as possible, so that you can prolong your comfort. And that means making you aware of potential problems in the hope that you might be able to avoid them or minimise their impact. With that in mind, let’s get to the Ox. That’s me!

After the f-cked up sh-t of last year, the Monkey could be promising for the Ox. In fact, the Ox, according to ma’s research, might have the best year of all the signs. This would be a good year to get married. But there are some trouble spots. See? That’s basically the end of the “positive” talk. Because our energies are better focused on how to protect ourselves and our luck.

For the Ox, there is a high risk this year of interpersonal drama, and/or office politics. Too much chatter with colleagues, family members etc, will jeopardise your good luck turnaround. Watch what you say, and to whom. There are two lucky stars in your presence but they’ll tap out on you if you get messed up in all that business.

1937 Oxen should be appreciative and faithful. If you have an affair this year, you could get sick, like an infection.

1949 Oxen will still be effective at work. But take care of your body and look after your health.

1961 Oxen will enjoy the results of hard work. Some years you bust your ass and you get nothing in return for it. This year you’ll be recognised. But you too should be mindful of your health. You can’t work hard if you have no stamina.

1973 Oxen will particularly benefit from those two aforementioned stars if they work in communications or media or in artistic industries. But your luck path this year runs along the bridge of your nose – a high target area. So be careful. Try this year not to jump to conclusions, not to make assumptions, especially related to relationships – any relationships – and avoid high risk activities. Health is a priority.

1985 Oxen could benefit from the assistance of an elder who’s available to help you professionally. But carefully consider the situation before you allow any potential flirtation to develop. Because if it goes wrong, there could be blood. (Michael Phelps happens to be an Ox born in 1985. Which is interesting, at least to me, because this summer he competes in Rio at the Olympic Games, in a year when, according to Chinese astrology, his luck is on the rise.)

Since, overall, this might be a smooth year for the Ox, you cannot be complacent and/or become over-confident. Extra caution while driving. Potential traffic accident alert.

In March and April you might get some negative news from someone trying to throw you off.

In May, June, July, and August be vigilant because there could be people trying to swindle you. Hold back on your opinions if you can and don’t turn away the advice you’re given. 

November and December are the best months to go on holiday to recharge.

As you’ll note then, for the Ox, even though the Year of the Monkey seems to be an improvement on the Goat/Sheep, it’s important not to waste the head down, grinding harvest work from last year and the possible arrival of better energy this year on bad decisions and complicated distractions. In ma’s opinion, this is the purpose and the true value of feng shui – to help you get through the lows in the best shape possible and to help you safeguard (and therefore enjoy) the highs when they come around.

Yours in gossip,