The rumours are true. Dusty Rose. Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo named their baby Dusty Rose. Incredibly, this is not the first Dusty Rose I have been acquainted with. As a teenager, I was a day camp counselor, and one session, a girl walked in and announced her name was Dusty Rose*. Math-wise, I’d assume she had been born circa 1990 or 1991, when dusty rose, the colour, was happening in houses across North America, our mothers caught in its collective grasp, helpless to stop themselves, like something out of an SNL sketch. Oh, and she wasn’t ‘Dusty’, either. Dusty Rose, thank you.

But…that was a long time ago. Baby Prinsloo Levine is going to have no such cultural moment to point to when people ask ‘your name is what?’

I have no idea. I don’t know where this came from, I cannot imagine that a woman whose first name is Behati, and who, I have to assume, has benefitted from being the most well-known bearer of that name, choosing Dusty Rose because she thought she loved the colour. Maybe they think it sounds musician-y? My friends at Nameberry have more on where Dusty Rose comes from, but I still don’t know why you choose it. Again, can you really see ‘Dusty Rose’ as an organic chemist or a financial analyst? I’m a hypocrite because I’ve worked in this business my whole life, but can these people really not think of a life for their children outside the entertainment business?

Then again, maybe it’s another hypothetical celebrity decoy name, like Hayden and Rachel with ‘Briar Rose’, the name of their daughter that was also the secret, hiding-in-plain-sight secret name for Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty. Here’s the thing, if this is the case…

You know how there are people/teens supposedly making thousands of dollars helping name babies? I will happily open a business exclusively for giving real celebrities fake decoy names to name their children so nobody guesses/pursues their real ones. Pass it on.

*No idea where this now grown woman is and don’t want to violate her privacy, BUT she was at camp with another family member who had a geographic name. So…maybe there was some name matching going on here?!