Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are currently in Miami together. They’ve been going to the gym together. And last night they stepped out for dinner together, making sure not to be photographed in the same frame. JLO knows better. She knows to wait for the perfect time before giving up that shot, the first clear shot of them side by side, the one that will be plastered everywhere to mark their status. I wonder though if he’s the one pushing for it. Or maybe ARod is waiting for MLB season to start, so that he can begin his broadcasting career with all the hype.

You know what I’ve been thinking about? Height.

ARod is JLO’s tallest love interest since Ben Affleck. They’re about the same, 6 ft 2. All her other lovers and husbands were sub-6ft. I’m talking about this because… I’m getting the same vibe. When she was with Ben she was so … giggly – is that right word? Like she looked UP at him and adored him. And she put him in her video and he lifted her easily out of the water and then she climbed onto him on a deck chair, and cuddled into his lap, remember that? They’d sit next to each with his long legs manspreading into her territory while she tucked into his side and you could tell by the look on her face that in her mind she felt “protected”. Until, you know, she didn’t. Until that manspreading wasn’t just about couch space but life space. I’m telling you – same vibes.

Have I just put a thirst in you for that video? I just watched it. Twice. Come on. Ben Affleck was HIS HOTTEST, like, EVER in this video. That shot of him when he’s pumping gas? He’s never been as hot as he was in that moment.