That was apparently the qualification for Ashton Kutcher when he cheated on his wife Demi Moore on their wedding anniversary in San Diego at the Hard Rock Hotel: the girls had to be “hot-tub worthy” and he took his time deliberating on the local offering before deciding on two “hot-tub worthy” candidates to take back to his suite, where they did indeed, all three of them, get into the hot-tub, naked, to make out...and more.

These are the details published by in the new Us Weekly featuring Ashton and Demi on the cover. Contrary to Star Magazine which reported last week that the two will divorce, Us says that they’re heading into counselling and that, so far, though Demi is devastated, there are no plans to officially break. How Demi reacts to another week of having her sh-t spread out on newsstands remains to be seen.

Is it true?

Well, I believe every word. If you’ve ever been to the San Diego Hard Rock...

I mean, when you go there on weekend with a buddy? The clientele ... it’s, like, not a place you hit up for a few drinks and a “quiet talk”, you know what I mean? They show up in the smallest bikinis and the fakest tans and they are looking to get down. And Ashton’s been getting down for a while now.

Some people still think that he may be punking us all. If that’s your choice at the Gossip Buffet, by all means, go ahead. Me I’m not sure that Demi Moore, at 48 years old, who busts her ass at 48 years old to try to maintain the outward appearance of a 30 year old, I’m not sure that the ratings on Two and a Half Men are so important to her that she’d be OK with letting the entire world think that her younger husband goes off on anniversary weekends to f-ck girls who could be her daughter. You think she’d endure that kind of embarrassment just so CBS can win the ratings race? You think she spends all that time working on that body, avoiding carbs, meticulously balancing cosmetic procedures, acquiring all kinds of seaweed and mystical sh-t to make sure her hair is dark and lustrous and never grey because SHE IS STILL DESIRABLE only to have us believe that her husband would rather mess around with some cheap weekend action from Vegas to San Diego?


Do you honestly think that Demi Moore is that secure? That self-actualised? Come on.

Think about how it must feel now. To be so hot. To be so fit. To be such a pulchritudinous marvel, seemingly defying Time, year after year. All the effort she puts into that...

Only to know that her husband skanks his time away with medium to medium plus waitress types he doesn’t remember in the morning...

It’s a lot of anger to carry around.

But if she doesn’t leave him, imagine how much MORE afraid (to be alone) she is than angry?