We weren’t going to give Blue her own post. Lainey and I discussed just mentioning Blue’s wonderfulness in a post about Beyoncé. That would not have been enough. Blue Ivy Carter showed up last in her finest form, ready to entertain the world and save a fake car full of grown-ass adults who sing for a living from butchering a classic karaoke song.
I don’t think we will truly understand or appreciate how hashtag blessed we were to have witnessed Blue swoop in from off-camera and single-handedly resuscitate that dying sketch. It should be a moment that goes down in TV history. ESPN should do a 30 for 30 on this moment. I would love to know what James Corden was thinking when he realized that his attempt at making the Ellen selfie of Carpool Karaokes was failing miserably because Faith Hill and Jennifer Lopez do not know the words to Sweet Caroline. I should note that Blue didn’t know the words either but it didn’t matter. As everyone else started fading and the director resorted to cutting to wide shots in an attempt to misdirect from the trainwreck unfolding in the aisle, it’s like Blue knew they needed her. In the exact moment I started cringing and said out loud, “this is going on way too long,” Blue came in right on cue. We don’t even need a Beyoncé or Blue Ivy bat signal. They just know. Blue knew her presence and her smile were enough to create a viral instant that will live in infamy.
My second favourite Blue moment of the night came when Beyoncé was accepting her award for Best Urban Contemporary album. While her mother was on stage giving an actual sermon of beautiful, empowering messages, Blue was looking inside her cat purse. Beyoncé said, “my beautiful daughter” and as they cut away to Blue, she did not even care that she is the second coming, child of royalty, next in line for the throne. She was just a 5-year-old kid with a cool, sparkly cat purse. God, I love her so much.
My third favourite Blue moment of the night is this one.
James Corden clearly approached Princess Blue to thank her for generously taking pity on him and the other peasants (no disrespect to Jennifer Lopez) and what happens is Blue refuses to shake his hand and seemingly looks off camera when he touches her like, “Did someone tell this motherf-cker he could touch me?” I can’t make out if she says, “you’re on my iPad” or “I want my iPad” but I really hope it was the latter for two reasons, 1. I don’t buy that Bey and Jay let Blue watch The Late Late Show and 2. I love the idea that Blue got bored exactly 5 seconds into the conversation and requested her iPad instead of talking to the weird man in front of her. We are not worthy.