I like saying “Irina Shayk”. You do too, right? I assume so, and that’s part of why she’s famous? I mean, I know, she’s a model and she’s been with him for almost two years and all, but let’s be honest, this is a fun name to say. “Irina SHAYK!” I am the furthest thing from a frat boy you will ever hope to discover, but I can see how this name would turn me into one.

Bradley Cooper, of course, sounds like the name of the boy who was always chosen to take the attendance list down to the office, back when that was a thing. If I were these two, I too would be striving to give my child a name that was more evocative and fun, like her mother’s.

According to E! News, they’ve landed on “Lea de Seine Shayk Cooper”, which is not bad, and I am assuming Lea is “LAY-ah”, sometimes even administered with an accent aigu, Léa. ‘De Seine’, of course, is ‘of the Seine’, a river in Paris, where Cooper sometimes lives… on a street called ‘de Seine’. So the child’s middle name is either a romantic acknowledgment of a city her parents love, or possibly….possibly… one of those wink-wink hat tips to the city where she was conceived… but they could do a lot worse. Lea de Seine isn’t actually likely to be said that often, but it’s pretty lovely, if it is.

However: is it fun, as per “Irina SHAYK!”?  ‘Lea de Seine’ is gorgeous and feel like it will be evoked in ballet class, where I assume this child is destined to spend time being ethereal and beautiful. “Lea SHAYK Cooper” has a tone of fun to it that make  me hope she’s either a professional baseball player or a Supreme Court Justice a la Ruth Bader-Ginsberg, just so someone can announce her name daily and pretend they’re not having far too much fun doing it. “Lea Cooper”, which she may sometimes be called?

Let’s be honest, it’s sleepy enough that there’s a reason they’ve put all those other names in there with it. There’s nothing wrong with the name they chose, or with Cooper, but everything else is there to wake it up…

…or to induce me to call her ‘Baby SHAYKs!’ Who AM I?