About a month ago, it was reported that Calvin Harris allegedly hit up a low budget massage shoppe in LA and people wondered whether or not he was getting a rub’n’tug. Click here for a refresher. The other day, Radar Online, mostly full of sh-t, claimed that Taylor Swift broke up with him because of that visit. Radar Online clearly wasn’t paying attention to their social media accounts because they’ve been favouriting each other and retweeting each other and basically NOT acting like they’d broken up at all.

Evidently the favouriting and the retweeting was not only too subtle for Radar, it was also too subtle for Calvin. Because this is the hissy fit he had on Twitter yesterday:

And then Taylor’s publicist Tree Paine (this is a real name) also tweeted about it:

And PEOPLE put up a whole article about how it’s bullsh-t and that Taylor and Calvin are still together.

That seems like a lot of work when a simple photo of the two of them on either one of their Instagram accounts would have worked the same. I mean, when you start screaming lawsuits and naming names, doesn’t that just make it all a bigger deal than it needs to be? To me, all this proves is that these two are paying attention. To everything. Constantly. Which, obviously, we knew. But now they’ve just given us reason to picture it. Huddled together, refreshing gossip blogs, following threads on social media, consuming all the words that all the people are writing/saying/messaging about them. Since they spend so much time online, God, you’d think he could come up with a better closer than “bye bye”. That’s how my mother-in-law signs off.