You know That Girl?

That Girl grinding up a chair, a bar stool, any man, woman, or server? That Girl who can’t stop screaming “LET’S PARTY WOOOO HOOOOOOOO”? That Girl at the party no one wants to admit they know? That Girl you need rescuing from? Do you remember desperately trying to make eye contact with a friend, begging to be saved, when that girl sits herself next to you and wants a hug because she’s “really glad we can be there for each other”?

Look at Lenny Kravitz’s face.

Look, even, at Stacy Keibler’s face.

Last night, at an Art Basel party in Miami, That Girl was Demi Moore.

Jesus, Demi Moore.

Check her out, yanking down her shorts. Check her out, couch dancing with her legs apart, trying to convince us that 26 year old art dealer sons of artist/directors find her attractive.

Yes, of course. She was there for Vito Schnabel, her new boyfriend. They weren’t photographed together but he was around and at one point the two were making out in the club. Because haven’t you heard?

DEMI MOORE IS 50 BUT YOUNG GUYS STILL WANT TO F-CK HER.

I believe you!

At least I did.

But the more she reminds me, the less true it seems.