Drew’s New Mom Jazz Hands

Maria Posted by Maria at December 7, 2012 18:49:59 December 7, 2012 18:49:59

First Anne Hathaway had them at the Actress roundtable, then Ben Affleck at the Directors’ roundtable, and now Drew Barrymore was on Ellen yesterday, and was jazz-handing all things Olive. I’m with Duana, I like the name and I think the story of how they came up with it while reading a pregnancy book is slightly adorable.

And while she’s effusive when talking about her daughter, I still don’t know if she’ll be a straight-up mom pimp. Drew sold her wedding photos, and Lainey has heard she may sell her baby photos. I was hoping she’d follow a Gwyneth/Reese/Jennifer Garner-style reveal: just let them get the shot of the baby. Even if it’s choreographed, it’s still less tacky. Or am I still holding movie stars to a standard to which they don’t want to be held anymore?

Drew comes from a serious showbiz family and has had a very difficult relationship with her mom – if anyone knows the heavy price that comes from a Hollywood pedigree and childhood stardom, it’s her. Her husband travels in very elite circles --  he’s not Casper Smart – so there’s no slumming or red carpet boner there. Olive is born into a rare type of family, so I don’t understand why they would be tempted to stoop to reality star coverage. Start exclusive, stay exclusive, Olive!

Drew’s long career also means she knows how to play: she has a lot of control over her schedule, and, coincidentally?, she scheduled a Barrymore Primo Grigio Wine push 10 weeks after having a baby. With a cooking demo! Former wild child Drew Barrymore is pulling a full-on GOOP. As Lainey said, how come suddenly everyone can do everything? And if she does want to do everything, I prefer producer Drew to pinot Drew. Producer Drew can get Bill Murray to do a Charlie’s Angel movie – that is infinitely more interesting than cooking pasta. Or …baby-gushing on Ellen…?

Fortunately Ellen is such a great host in semi-absurd situations like this because she’s encouraging without being a kiss-ass; she plays along but gently teases and Drew is a good sport, laughing and gesticulating enough for the cheap seats.

Ellen: She’s only ten weeks old but you’re lucky. Because you hear stories like that…she’s so good and she sleeps all night. You’re the people that lure other people in and they’re like my baby doesn’t do that.

Drew: …I will say Olive is a definite ambassador to having lots of babies. I have met babies who are screaming and they’re crying and they’re trying to convey all these things and you get so terrified and overwhelmed. I’ m very grateful to her.  She really has it together…She’s really impressing me.

Ellen: Again, to say she has it together…Again,is a bit premature… 

New moms* need a guideline on acceptable conversation topics, because we don’t have Ellen to make our boring brags seem funny. We just have a bunch of friends who think, “When is this b-tch going to stop talking about her nipples?” Cameron Diaz does not want to hear about cluster feeds.

After the baby talk, Drew makes “Will’s Favorite Pasta” while dropping lots of promo for the pinot. This is what she’s selling now: domesticated, but not uptight, kooky, but responsible. More famous than her husband, but traditional. It could work, I guess, I just wish she had picked a better product.

Who would buy this wine? I’m no oenophile (I’m low class and pick by the label), and maybe for that reason I wouldn’t pick up a Barrymore Pinot Grigio. It would be like getting a French manicure. I. Can’t.

(*Includes new pet owners.)

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