A story today in Page Six - that on Monday night, Drew Barrymore was at the Waverly Inn in New York and Hugh Grant came in the door and she squealed and launched herself into his lap and they made out.

Hugh and Drew know each other of course from Music & Lyrics. Drew’s character was called Sophie. It’s always Sophie. Or Lucy. Or Casey. Or Billy. Or Lindsay.

Does this bother you the way it bothers me?

Sorry, I digress.

So if I were single and still hadn’t met the right person, I’d make like Drew and Kate Hudson too. On their own terms, many flirtations, many booty calls, as much fun as possible. Why not?

The problem then isn’t what Drew’s doing, but who she’s doing it with. There are options! So many options! Drew can have her first choice. Drew doesn’t have to settle with a second choice. But Drew always picks the third choice!

Why?

Why make out with a man who attacked a pap with baked beans?

Why not make out with Bradley Cooper who costars with Drew in That Movie? Who hosted SNL last Saturday? She was with him on stage during the finale, he had his arm wrapped around her in a rather familiar way, and then they proceeded to ignore each other during the credits which I took to mean that oh they so totally are f-cking.

And that would be great! Because Bradley Cooper is sex. Check him out at the premiere of That Movie a couple of weeks ago.

But Drew…

Drew’s loins beat to a different quiver. I am too shallow. And I wear contacts. As such, I will never understand.

Photos from Wenn.com