George Clooney did not marry Amal Alamuddin this weekend while we were obsessing over the Beyonce Video Awards and the Emmys. Now that the international entertainment media shifts its focus to Venice then, it’s not likely he’ll do an Italian wedding during the next two weeks. So there are now new rumours.

Here are the details:

Supposedly there will be a civil ceremony on September 12 in Chelsea, London. That’s a Friday. Then they’ll all head to Venice, well after the festival has wrapped and sh-t has gone back to normal, for a weekend reception celebration starting September 26, my birthday, also a Friday. It’ll be intimate – about 60 people. After that, about a month later on October 25 there will be another party back in England in Buckinghamshire.

There’s your update. For now. Until it all goes back to Como and we have to redirect.