March 25, 2014. Almost exactly a year ago. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin post the now infamous “conscious uncoupling” announcement on GOOP. They said it was amicable. They’ve showed us how amicable they can be. And now it looks like they’re celebrating their breakup with a trip, together, in Mexico with their children – THAT’s how f-cking amicable they are. Because when G wants to be amicable, she wants to make it so that no one else in the history of divorces has ever been this goddamn amicable.

Look at them, all fit and happy on the beach, smiling at each other. Like if you didn’t know…you wouldn’t know. That they are no longer husband and wife. Just friends, very good friends. And co-parents. The model co-parents. The model everything…

She’s here to help, didn’t you know?

She’s trying to help me, that’s what I think. Because I’m leaving for London two weeks from tomorrow and she recently posted an article about the restaurants she wants to try. Click here. Park Chinois. Is it open yet???