Gwyneth Paltrow went to a party at Charlize Theron’s yesterday. G and Charlize were also hanging out at Sean Penn’s Haiti fundraiser a few weeks ago. So I guess she really is friends with everyone except for Madonna. Still. And she’s going to need her friends, especially the Tigers, this year.

As I mentioned at the start of Chinese New Year, the Horse is especially sh-tty for those born Rats. G is a Rat. And not even a month into it, she’s been hit by a cheating scandal. Click here for a refresher from last week. See? A blood test would be a good idea before March 5, if I were her. And a very low profile for the next few months.

And Charlize? Charlize Theron was born a Rabbit. You know, she has the same birthday as Sidney Crosby? (And Duana?) Jacek is a Rabbit. My father is a Rat. They’re compatible. My ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, has always suggested that Rabbits are pretty congenial. Thing is, Rabbits and Horses aren’t as strong as Horses and Tigers.

Rats, go find your Tigers. They will protect you.