It’s January. Which means it’s time for us to be mad at Gwyneth Paltrow because she’s telling us to think about detoxing. Or you can be mad at her for a new reason: she’s partnered with Juice Beauty for her own beauty and skincare line and it’s all organic, vegan, gluten-free, paraben-free, plastic-free, no silicones, and tastes like chia seeds. I made up that last part but you were willing to believe it, weren’t you?

G was interviewed by Yahoo! about the partnership and talked about her skin and beauty philosophy and her makeup tips. Basically she says she never cared about it until a few years ago and now that she’s older she wears more. I don’t, personally, agree with that. I think people wear WAY too much makeup. Kanye West’s wife’s family has a lot to do with that I think. All that contour business. Now everyone is riding the subway contoured up the ass. As for Gwyneth, to me, she’s always looked better with less on. Obviously we don’t agree. That hurts me.

Anyway, G also talks about diet. Apparently there are Oreo cookies in her house? ME TOO! We’re friends again! And when asked about her dietary restrictions, this is how she responded:

“I think there’s a lot of misinformation about what I actually eat. I really don’t have any rules. I really believe in delicious food and enjoying life and not saying no to anything. But at the same time, you know, I think it’s important to understand what good nutrition does and make sure you maintain a balance. For me the big things are really processed food and foods that have tons of chemicals and pesticides. I try to stay away from that, but I love French fries and cheese and martinis and all that kind of thing.”

You’ve been misinformed, OK? Gwyneth eats fries! How often though? Once a year? Twice a year? Often, supposedly, because she works out with Tracy Anderson, hard, and that’s why she can “eat so much food and still fit into my clothes”. She then goes on and on, and on, about Tracy Anderson. Tracy Anderson wears way too much makeup too, by the way.

Here’s G last night at that Stella McCartney event in blue suede shoes and a black dress with flare pouches at the hip. You hate this design feature. I love it. Is she wearing her own line of makeup though? Makeup artists prefer using brands that they’ve experience working with because, as you know, different brands react different ways to different application techniques. So does that mean every time an artist does her makeup they have to be familiarised in advance with her products? I… have a really hard time seeing this go down.

Click here to read G’s full interview with Yahoo!