Cameron Diaz was Gwyneth Paltrow’s date last night at the official launch of Mayfair’s The Arts Club  hosted by His Royal Highness Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, husband of the Queen and grandfather to William and Hot Harry on a Horse.

Cammie, newly single after finally working up the pride and balls to leave Alex Rodriguez, is visiting with her longtime friend...because G is a great wingman? Look at the two flirting with the newly married Mark Ronson. No, no, of course not, Cam is not f-cking Mark Ronson. But Cam is hitting up my G to help her find her next fix. After all, G was around when Cam and ARod first got together. Which makes me wonder why G is setting her girls up with dickheads. Or is Cam just naturally drawn to them and it’s Gwyneth who sticks around afterwards to pick up the pieces?

No matter. The point is they were out last night together at a royal function where they both had some face time with the Prince, and Gwyneth, my tall Gwyneth, she even got to tower over him and speak to him condescendingly with a champagne glass in her hand.

IS THAT AGAINST THE RULES???

Then Gwyneth took the stage and performed. Yes, yes, she is still singing. And not only is she still singing, she’s singing with Knights Before and Mark Ronson. Like... she gets invited to high profile charity events as a guest AND performer now.

How are you feeling? Are you ok?

How’s the inside of your mouth? Is it bleeding?