Rita Ora has become part of the Chanel family. Last night she was at the Chanel Exhibition Party in London. In July she was one of the celebrity guests at Karl’s runway casino during the haute couture presentation. For over a year now, they’ve been trying to establish Rita Ora as some kind of Rihanna contemporary. This… is bullsh-t.

I still can’t name one single Rita Ora song. Couldn’t identify a Rita Ora song if it was playing in my car. And I work in entertainment. If you are from the UK, before you start pounding your outrage into an email to me, please consider that your star system is a beautiful thing – something I wish Canada could be better at. Still, while Rita may be a star in the UK, like Cheryl Cole before her, she’s not exporting as well as she wants to be.

For some reason, Rita has appointed herself the leader of the new Lady Marmalade. You’ll recall, almost 15 years ago, Christina Aguilera, Missy Elliott, P!nk, Mya, and Lil Kim remade the song into a big hit. Rita wants to remake the remake, telling The Sun that

"I'm trying to round up the troops. I think it would be me, Miley Cyrus, Charli XCX—she'd be fun—and Iggy."

Miley and Charli didn’t even bother to As IF off the stage. Because, really, who’s paying attention?

Um. Iggy is.

Because Iggy can’t resist a Twitter fight. As you know, because I love repeating it, I’m not a believer in Iggy Azalea. From the very beginning, even when everyone was losing their minds over that sh-tty Fancy, I never believed. So how much influence could you possibly have if even Iggy Azalea is distancing you? 

Is Rita Ora ever going to happen?