Dear Gossips,

When rappers are mad at each other, they release diss tracks. When rich white ladies are marking their territory…

They release new menus?

As you’ve probably seen, in the current issue of Martha Stewart Living, there’s a page called “Conscious Coupling”, something about ingredients that work together, and just in time for Thanksgiving, the perfect time to keep mean-girling your lifestyle rival.

It would mean nothing if Martha hadn’t spoken out, repeatedly, about Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP. But she has. She’s publicly advised G to “be quiet” and stay in her lane. G, meanwhile, is all like, oh hey, Martha, thanks for being threatened by my small, but ambitious, empire.

I thought these people were supposed to be paragons of propriety. Sure. You can find me over here, slurping noodles with my chopsticks, admiring their table manners.

It was Thanksgiving for us in Canada yesterday. Welcome back from the long weekend. We’re catching up on The Walking Dead and more. Thanks for your understanding while I Frankensteined my body last week!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

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