Dear Gossips,

Have you watched Ryan Adams interviewing Taylor Swift about both their 1989s? Oh reeeeally? I say that with my eyes closed, like I’m blind.

Let me take you back to 2008 when Ryan was dating Mandy Moore. He was 34 at the please, don’t blame this on youth, and he decided he couldn’t be with Mandy anymore because of the paparazzi etc so he released a statement to OK! Magazine, a TABLOID, to explain his decision. Basically he said that while Mandy is sweet and awesome, he had to break up with her because being with her was interfering with his efforts to be “punk as f-ck”. They eventually got back together. Now they’re divorced. And he’s telling Taylor Swift that when he’s having a hard time writing a song, all he has to do is put on the Smiths and then suddenly he’s inspired.

Let your eyes roll to the back of your head and open your mouth. That’s basically the expression he deserves. He’s so punk as f-ck he can’t take his goddamn sunglasses off to have a conversation with someone. But that’s still not as ragey as how Duana reacted to Zooey Deschanel’s baby name. More on this later.

Yours in gossip,