Jake Gyllenhaal hit up two award shows this weekend. On Saturday night he was in LA for Guys Choice, presenting to Jeff Bridges dressed up as The Dude. I preferred him this way. On Sunday he was at the Tonys looking very handsome in a tuxedo though I could do without the pinky ring.

But Lainey, he always wears that pinky ring! His ma probably gave it to him!

Fine. But all I’m saying is that pinky rings are not my favourite. You know who wears a pinky ring? P Diddy Puff Daddy. And Jennifer Lopez’s slum bear. And Guy Fieri. Please don’t make me categorise Jakey G alongside JLO’s lovers and obnoxious chefs.

Let’s talk instead about Cicely Tyson’s dress. When you wear a dress like this, it automatically compels you to speak very slowly, refer to yourself in the third person, refer to your friends and family as “thumbprints”, and generally be awesome at 80. Now bow.