What does Victoria Beckham want more than anything in life?

More than anything, Victoria Beckham wants, needs, dreams of, salivates over, is begging for a US Vogue cover. And that amazing bitch Anna Wintour won’t give her one.

So can you imagine what Posh must be thinking? Today of all days when she sees the magazine’s December cover featuring a less than ideal looking Jennifer Aniston? The sun is catching up to the face, non?

Poor Posh is probably punishing herself over this. Staring at a chocolate cake.

So here it is…

The topic of the day – Jennifer Aniston in Vogue. And Vogue is selling Jennifer Aniston by putting Angelina Jolie’s name right next to her head!

Girl sh-t is the best sh-t, right?

And while Jen tries to convince you that she has indeed moved on, when asked about her arch nemesis, instead of airily waving it off, or (better for us) ripping off the gloves and givin’er street fighter styles, she instead takes the half assed approach, calling the Jolie “uncool” for talking about when she and Brad Pitt fell in love:

"There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening," Aniston said. "I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss."

Aniston then shook her head in disbelief.

"That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool," Aniston said.


Oh babe. Either don’t go there or if you do, just straight up rip her tits off! Call her a bitch! Drop the c-bomb on her bony ass! But don’t be square and call her “uncool”!

What’s the point?

Especially when later on, Jennifer makes sure to emphasise that she and Brad were on friendly terms and that their split was AMICABLE:

"(There have been) a few very kind hellos ... and congratulations on your babies…We had an amicable split ... The marriage didn't work out."

So…was it amicable or was he a cheater? I don’t get it. Do you get it? Does SHE even get it?

Obviously not.

Because she’s dating John Mayer. And when asked about him, she answered:

"People need to mind their own business! Did you ever think Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield made sense? Love just shows up."

Did Claudia and David just show up? Because all of a sudden they’re part of the conversation when they were just minding their own business too.

But things are looking up for Jen. Finally. She doesn’t want you to feel sorry for her. And she doesn’t want you to think that she sucks at romance. Because she doesn’t:

"This whole 'Poor lonely Jen' thing, this idea that I'm so unlucky in love? I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love.”

So lucky that she is determined to be The One. The One who will change That Guy. Says Jen of John Mayer’s paparazzi press conference during which he broke up with her 3 times:

"Trust me, you’ll never see that happen again from that man."

Girl… you need a friend.

Source Us Weekly