Dear Alba Bitch,

We get it. Your beauty is a curse. You don’t want to be known for your body. Because you are an actor.

No, honey. Julianne Moore is an actor. You, sweetheart, are simply a pretty face. And a first class bitch, no matter how hard Harvey Weinstein has been talking you up. And no one will see Awake if you’re not getting naked. And if you’re not getting naked, who the f*ck cares?

So please… please stop raiding Emmy Rossum’s closet.

PS. Is this Marchesa? If so…no wonder you look like sh-t.

Attached – Jessica Alba at the NYC premiere of Awake… a film shot 2 years ago that’s been buried forever, probably available at Blockbuster in about 2 days.

photos from WENN