No, no, not the photos of him last night at the NYC premiere of The Rum Diary, God no. The fact that Johnny’s looking a little portly these days is reminding me how f-cking old I am.

I do however love him opposite Ricky Gervais. Gervais is producing a new comedy series called Life’s Too Short starring Warwick Davis (Professor Flitwick!) who plays like the head of CAA but only representing little people. Ricky tweeted a clip from the show featuring Johnny getting pissy with him about the Golden Globes last year. It’s amazing. ALL the facial expressions are AMAZING. I’ve watched it three times and it gets funnier. Check out what Stephen Merchant is doing. Ricky’s timing when he says “stab in the dark” is perfect, and his face at the very end... it’s the best part of my day.

Then, of course, there’s the photo he posted with the following caption:

“Johnny Depp was so offended by my Golden Globes jokes that he helped me shove a dwarf down a toilet."

Right?

Where is this guy? Can we have more of this guy and less Mad Hatter???