Duana seemed to think Pipsqueak was on his “best behaviour” while presenting last night at the Oscars. Best Behaviour where Justin Timberlake is concerned, to me at least, would be to read the f-cking monitor and get the hell on with it. Could he resist? Could he resist the urge to make the moment all about himself? Has he ever resisted?


There was a joke about Banksy which I actually didn’t mind, not at all. And then there was more Banksy-ing and a thing with this iPhone (that part was likely planned) and then, for some reason, Justin Timberlake thought he could borrow Kirk Douglas’s joke for himself… like covering a song and making it better you cocky little sh-t, AS IF.

You know, his mother was his date last night, because that’s what all single men do I guess, they bring their mothers and it’s supposed to be charming, only when it comes to this mother, as she’s done his entire life, she sits in the audience ready to clap, at anything, which is why he finds himself so brilliant and amusing. Because mommy told him so.

Where was Biel?

She showed up at Vanity Fair and they posed together inside. So they are still together, she is still his girlfriend, she is hilariously trying to lean in close to him for the photo. And this is the kind of sh-t that undermines the “solidness” of the love, you know? Photo Assumption says a neck doesn’t have to work that hard if the love is alright.

Why do you think it may have been working hard?

Well, Cameron Diaz was at Vanity Fair too. So the distance was kept. Territory was divided. Cam looked like sh-t and may have been drunk and acting kinda pathetic and without Alex Rodriguez and that had to be satisfying for Biel, although Cam still has what Biel doesn’t – a real career of her own. Trust me, they were all keenly aware of each other last night. That’s why we need party cameras.

Photos from Wenn.com and Jeff Vespa/VF11/Gettyimages.com