The Rolling Stones released a music video for a song—a cover of an old Eddie Taylor song—off their new album, Blue and Lonesome, and it stars Kristen Stewart, joyriding in a ’65 ’Stang and rocking out and generally looking very, very hot. The tomboy aesthetic really works for KStew, and I really f*cking want one of those Chanel padlock necklaces. She also looks like she’s having fun, which, if you only know her from her Twilight years, you probably have never seen her having fun. But we’re a few years past that, she’s grown up, and she seems more settled and relaxed than ever before, with a healthy dose of Who Gives A F*ck in her attitude. (Kristen Stewart Is The Female Millennial Michael Shannon: Discuss.)
Lainey and I are fighting about the high-waisted jeans, though. Long butts flatter no one, and I think high-waisted jeans are a Nineties fashion that should have stayed dead, but I am being provided photographic evidence of various celebrities, like Rihanna, in high-waisted jeans as if this is some sort of proof that they’re not horrible. (If your argument is that “this uber-gorgeous alien from outer space who looks good in literally anything” looks good in high-waisted jeans, try again. SHE STILL HAS A LONG BUTT.) And this is about JEANS, so don’t come at me with not-jeans—high-waisted trousers, for example, are a timeless and elegant statement. (One of my favorite “Listen and obey and don’t f*ck with me” work ensembles is high-waisted trousers, a menswear blazer, and Oxford shoes.) But high-waisted JEANS just make me think of that fake ad for MOM JEANS from SNL.
Lainey is sure to butt in to tell me I’m wrong because she’s one of Canada’s best dressed people but Canada is America’s attic so congratulations on being the best dressed person in the ATTIC, LAINEY. THOSE JEANS GIVE YOU A LONG BUTT.